Sex-starved superstars appear in real rush to get back home

Might this be the World Cup won in the bedroom? All of the nations that imposed outright pre-tournament sex bans have already been knocked out.

Chile and Mexico both departed in the last-16, despite knocking nookie on the head during their Brazil stay.

The sex-starved Russians didn’t make it out of their group, while there may be some relief that Bosnia and Herzegovina hands won’t be lifting the trophy after manager Safet Susic’s pre-tournament dictat: “There will be no sex in Brazil. They can find another solution. They can masturbate if they want.”