Euro 2012 Diary

BUM DEAL FOR SWEDES

Who would have thought the Swedes, of all people, would get so worked up over the sight of a bare backside? When reserve goalkeeper Johan Wiland lost a round of piggy-in-the-middle at training, he was invited to take one for the team — pulling down his shorts and clenching for a barrage of shots from his team-mates.

But all the Swedish lads have their backsides in the bacon slicer after the 2-1 defeat by Ukraine and folk back home are showing little tolerance for messing.

Anti-bullying campaigners Friends were first to join the storm of overreaction. “They are poor role models. They’re heroes to thousands of boys and girls around Sweden and I do not think they should signal that this is okay.”

And even Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt had his say: “People who carry expectations should be aware of that, and act accordingly.”

Roy Keane, meanwhile, was more concerned about the Swedish strikers’ shooting accuracy. “It’s a pretty big target — you’d think one of them would hit it.”

ROMANCE IS DEAD

Alas, it now seems that the old-school love-story shyly initiated by Eamon Keegan on the terraces of Poznan may not have a happy ending.

One of the ladies involved might just have made a boob that could jeopardise her job.

The Croatian media appears to be just as interested as ours in the Kildare youngster’s ambassadorial work and local newspaper Vecernji List tracked down one of his new friends, Jelena Miksa, who works as a civil servant in the country’s culture ministry.

It appears the ministry is unimpressed with Jelena’s indiscrete approach to fostering international relations and is holding an ethics committee meeting to see if she should face disciplinary action when she returns to the office.

“We have to react as a public sector employee should behave in line with the code,” spokeswoman Natasa Petrinjak told AFP.

You suspect Jelena will face, at the very least, a tongue-lashing.

VANILLA KILBANE

Word reaches us that Trap will make the most of every bit of experience at his disposal tonight and invite Kevin Kilbane into the Ireland dressing room to deliver a rousing pre-match pep talk to his old team-mates.

We’ve pulled some strings to bring you an exclusive extract from the Killer speech:

“You’ve got to hold and give. But do it at the right time.

You can be slow or fast. But you must get to the line.

They’ll always hit you and hurt you. Defend and attack.

There’s only one way to beat them. Get round the back.”

Zinedine warmed up for the job on Tuesday night in Gdansk with a magnificent version of Ice Ice Baby, captured for the spirit of the nation by BBC’s Conor McNamara. Watch it here: bit.ly/vanillakiller

SPIRIT OF ROY, 1994

Looks like Samir Nasri is still winning friends and influencing people.

Alex Chick ?@alexchick81

Journalist in mixed zone: “Samir, a quick word, we’ve waited two hours.” Nasri: “I didn’t ask you to wait.” Nice chap.

MONEY WELL SPENT

At last, an end to Europe’s currency woes. One of the more pressing difficulties afflicting some Euro 2012 fans over the last week has been settling on a workable pronunciation of the Ukrainian hryvnia.

Good news, however, has arrived via RTÉ’s Ed Leahy, who is working with the station’s Ukraine-based commentary teams.

“Prices are displayed, for example, as 200UAH, so our travelling party now refer to all prices in ‘Paul McGraths’.”

HEADLINE OF THE TOURNAMENT?

Bit slow on this one, but the Belgian papers tend not to be delivered here until late in the week. This was Sporza’s take on their dear neighbours’ opening round defeat to Denmark:

“EGOLAND 0 LEGOLAND 1”

LANDBLOCKED

The build-up to last night’s Group B death match brought to mind some tectonic plate-centric punditry from John Giles ahead of a Uefa Cup tie a few years ago featuring clubs from the old rivals:

Billo: “This is something of a local derby between Holland and Germany.”

Gilesy: “Er…yeah, they’ve been close to each other for years…”

TAKING THE BISCUIT

Commentator Clive Tyldesley had his fill of Ronaldo’s hands-on-hips dismay during Portugal’s narrow 3-2 victory over Denmark:

“He looked to the heavens and gave it the double teapot.”

THE KING OF CONDESCENSION

The word is that Peter “A goal for all of Africa” Drury will not have his contract renewed by ITV at the end of this tournament, so the overwrought commentator is busily patronising as many nations as possible before his time at the station is complete.

No doubt he has dealt with us before, but there was another opportunity to pat our heads after Sean St Ledger’s goal. “That’s how the Irish celebrate; they really are special.”

But Pete really outdid himself when the plain people of Poland had their moment:

“For president and peasant. Never a goal more deeply yearned.”

POLAND GOES BANANAS

Poland’s well-earned point against Russia on Tuesday came at a price — it cost the country the production of 80 Volkswagens. Around 2,000 workers at Poland’s largest plant did a Poznan and turned their backs on the production line to catch the exciting 1-1 draw.

But Volkswagen chiefs were fully behind the downing of tools. “Engagement, mood and loyalty of our employees is the key. Eighty cars less were produced because of the decision but this is not a problem, we will catch it up later,” said spokesman Piotr Danielewicz.

SCREEN BREAK

Another excitable Pole may still be waiting to catch Jakub Blaszczykowski’s magnificent equaliser. When Alan Dzagoev put Russia ahead, the man from Sosnowiec threw his television out the window of his third-floor apartment and spent the rest of the match in police custody.

Neighbours reported the incident and the man — who may have had one or two Tyskies on board — was invited to accompany the police down town.

“When Russia scored the first goal, the man was so overcome by emotion that he took his old television and simply chucked it out the window. Fortunately no one was around, so the television just fell, exploded, but no one was injured,” said a police spokesman.

Nobody could confirm if the man had been accessing ITV’s commentary.