We’re happy there’s no hysteria this time

AN old Hollywood actor became the byword for wooden performances. The subject of a celebrated urban myth, he became infamous several years after a radio presenter supposedly announced his upcoming appearance on a show by howling in disbelief: “Sonny Tufts?!”

For all its modern glitz, football has yet to unveil a manager with such melodrama, but one suspects the news of Roy Hodgson’s arrival would be greeted with similar incredulity had it not been heavily sign-posted from the moment Benitez bailed.

Let’s get the mewling of his predecessor’s idolaters out of the way first. There will inevitably be cries of “we gave up Rafa for this?”, but they resemble the lovelorn yelps of a scorned teenager ranting at his parents – “you never liked her did you? I hate you!” – when in fact he was probably dumped for a hunk with more money and less hysteria.