Dye cast for greying Zola

THESE are trying times to be a manager.

Sam Allardyce is currently recovering from a heart complaint that might, or might not be stress-related, while a report published last week suggested top-flight coaches will take, on average, 312 weeks to turn grey. “I think the process might be quicker for me,” said Gianfranco Zola, through gritted teeth.

If Just For Men were ever to enter the shirt sponsorship market, West Ham would undoubtedly represent a sound choice. Quite apart from the myriad financial problems which continue to haunt the club – their current owners, the Icelandic bank Straumur, will visit Reykjavik’s High Court on 11 December to seek an extension to their moratorium on debt repayments – the team also knows how to make young managers grow old.