Doomed City hampered by Fayed fire

RELEGATION battles can be decided by many things. An ill-timed muscle tweak, a shot that kisses the post rather than embracing the net or a linesman's errant flag have all proved decisive in recent years. But never can the difference have been made by a pep-talk from an Egyptian septuagenarian who counts calling the Duke of Edinburgh “a Nazi” as one of his less outrageous remarks.

Then again, Fulham and Mohamed Al Fayed have never fitted the classical Premier League template. Craven Cottage, with its antique stands, idyllic riverside setting and curious mix of supporters — half grizzled die-hards, half bemused Japanese tourists — is an odd outpost for the world's most rapaciously commercial league, while Al Fayed is undoubtedly its most eccentric owner.

No other chairman would dare venture into the dressing room moments before a relegation decider, making wild promises of £5,000 Harrods hampers stuffed full of smoked salmon and caviar in the event of survival. But Al Fayed has always done things his own way and while his previous attempt at rabble-rousing, in the witness box at the British high court, ended in farce and ridicule, some stirring words here might just have ensured another season spent swanning around English football's most glittering venues.