When the sirens finally subside...

SO WHERE’s the fire? Why the siren-wailing drama to appoint a new Republic of Ireland manager when we have nothing more serious than bragging to play for until next September? (On that point, why would we want May’s friendly opponents, Serbia, going back telling their cousins in Montenegran how good those Irelanders are?)

That the FAI executive decided to keep their eyes on the long-term goal rather than be panicked by ludicrous media behaviour of recent months is to their credit. And they haven’t always warranted credit.

It would appear we are down to a choice of Gerard Houllier or Terry Venables as next Republic of Ireland manager. Since you asked, the French man every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

But if something goes awry over the next 72 hours and he decides to stay in Clarefontaine with the French Federation, then take more time, Ray, Don and Don. Wait until May if necessary, when the Premier League is over and contracts are being torn up. If the last week or two confirms anything about football’s managerial circus, it is the utter futility of contracts.

Everyone outside of Newcastle would have presumed that by this weekend, Mark Hughes or Houllier would be installed as the successor to Sam Allardyce as manager. What do we know, Mike Ashley? Easy, don’t spill the champagne, lad.

If Houllier now agrees to the Irish job — and there’s no better recommendation than Arsene Wenger — it will be a genuine feather in the cap of the FAI. They could have made the knee-jerk appointment some adolescent sections of the press demanded — giz a head, any head — but if it’s wrong, it’s wrong, whatever the time scale.

It’s only sport, but this is serious stuff. A million quid a year serious. We’ve had two failed tenures, and the one before that didn’t end with high-fives and clinking glasses either. The pressure to get this appointment right can be exaggerated — and regularly is — but not by that much.

Messrs Howe, Houghton and Givens have done their business meticulously and by their own clocks. Most of the contacts they discussed the position with have come out and had their say. But the head-hunters weren’t cowed by their weak hand and their target’s cachet. I have it on good authority that World Cup winner, Marcello Lippi, was sounded out, among others. And money was not going to be a dealbreaker.

When it comes to international football’s most glamorous jobs, we’re hardly Italy, Spain, France or England — and they ended up paying their third choice (after Martin O’Neill and José Mourinho, not to mention the previously-approached Felipe Scolari) a whopping £6m a season. Little wonder Steve Coppell is turned on by the idea of international management.

We don’t know how close the ex-Man Utd winger came to going green, but given how much he was spooked by tabloid speculation this week linking him with the position, one must presume he was seriously interested. Maybe that interview with RTÉ’s Tony O’Donoghue some months ago wasn’t the innocent pap we thought it to be.

He may come back into the frame, of course. Even if the FAI are lucky enough (they could do with some of that scarce commodity) to snare Houllier, I can’t see him staying in the job long-term. Coppell’s time may come.

Both possess the characteristics the FAI were looking for — 1) tactical awareness, 2) will he command the respect of the players and perhaps most importantly 3) how badly does he want, or need, the job? How badly does he want to make a success of this?

An international manager, whether he be Capello, Scolari, Domenech or Donadoni, only has a limited number of players to work with. Bertie Ahern’s pre-Christmas cracker about the Ireland manager scarcely being a full-time job — “sure he knows 75% of the players” — wasn’t as ignorant as it was made out.

So, does anyone really believe that Venables, George Graham or Glenn Hoddle — who did speak to the FAI but subsequently withdrew his interest — have the hunger, the so-called fire-in-the-belly to do justice to their million quid a year salary? Ditto Kenny Dalglish. He’s too comfortable now. As Jerry Maguire might say, pay cheque players — primary motivation: money.

Coppell’s different. He’s a workaholic with a point to prove, and hasn’t done too badly with the Irish contingent at the Madejski (of which Hunt and Doyle may not be there come the end of the season — another reason to go, perhaps).

Houllier ticks far more boxes than Venables; and he’s proven himself in cup competition, which is essentially what international football amounts to.

But if Houllier turns out to be as elusive as Coppell, then the cupboard begins to look fairly thin again — save for El Tel. And that means one more decision that could expose the FAI to ridicule — holding off on an appointment again.

The FAI’s chief executive, John Delaney, is a handy target in all this. Perhaps Delaney, who hasn’t accumulated a small personal fortune making erroneous decisions, should have been more hands-on in the process, a la Brian Barwick.

But if he regarded Howe, Houghton and Givens as better football judges than he, is anyone arguing?

Whoever is appointed, whenever it is ratified, an assistant will have to be found, an Irish man who will learn and reinvest that wisdom in Irish football.

Liam Brady, anyone?