A week on planet Roy

NOW I know that Roy Keane said that he planned to take a walk around the town on what was his first visit to the City Of The Tribes but what I actually behold on Eyre Square at about midday on Thursday is simply gob-smacking: Keano, dressed in civvies, walking down the street, hand in hand with a big burly bloke in full drag – tight floral print dress, cascading wig of blonde curls, tricky open-toed fashion sandals and pronounced five o’clock shadow.

It’s a jaw-dropping spectacle for the throngs queuing at the cash-points and the Ballybrit buses — heads swivel as people stare, point, laugh, look stunned and reach for cameras. I’m struggling to know how to react myself when, right before my eyes, there’s a strange blurry effect, like something you’d see in ‘Twilight Zone’, and Keano suddenly turns into someone I don’t know at all, just another guy with his madcap buddy having a laugh on their way to Ladies Day at the Galway Races.

In fact, now that I think about it, Keane must already be back on Wearside, having caught a 10.30 flight with his squad out of Galway this very morning at the end of their Irish mini-tour. (When asked the previous night by a local reporter if he planned to find time to hit Ballybrit himself, Keane had replied, “Not unless they have midnight races, no.”)