Soccer: A speedboat idling around the harbour

I WAS so impressed by a comment written on one of my end-of-year school reports, that it remains firmly entrenched in my mind some 30 years later.

Sadly it seems that the accelerator still eludes me as, according to my teacher I was a 12-year-old “speedboat idling around the harbour”.

I am not blowing my own trumpet but as we approach half-time in this season’s proceedings and at a traditional time for a mid-term appraisal, it seems an entirely appropriate description of the Arsenal.