Leave the pitch alone, Barca are coming!

I’VE just had new turf laid on a particularly barren part of the garden at my home. I’m assured this is the very best time of year to do so affording every prospect that I’ll wake up one morning to find a ‘Wembley-like’ surface to walk on.

I know, some hope.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help wondering why, looking down on a quite appalling playing surface at Stamford Bridge the other day, the billionaire-backed best club in the land hadn't found a few roubles to buy itself a new pitch.