Carl Hayman: ‘I was a commodity in rugby. Now I’m paying the price’

Carl Hayman and Kiko Matthews’ lives have been completely changed by his dementia diagnosis and the family are searching for answers amid rugby’s deepening brain injury crisis

DEMENTIA DIAGNOSIS: Carl Hayman (L) spins out the ball despite the pressure by France's Olivier Sourgens (R) during the rugby international match between New Zealand and France at Eden Park in Wellington, 09 June 2007. Pic: AFP Photo/Damien Meyer.

“Carl has joked about going out to sea on his boat. Put in so much fuel and just go in one direction. And, you know, the fuel’s going to run out eventually …” Kiko Matthews is not one to duck a subject. She lives with Carl Hayman, the former All Black prop, and their infant daughter in New Plymouth, where they run a boat-charter business. She is also living with Hayman’s recent diagnosis of dementia. Time is something other people have; talking around a subject likewise a luxury alien to her.

“Carl will say,” she recounts matter-of-factly “and I totally get where he’s coming from: ‘What’s the point in living? It’s only going to get worse. I’ve got headaches every day. I can’t function. And this is as good as it’s going to get.’ There is no cure.”