Peter Jackson: A Grand Slam showpiece with few equals
France's players celebrate after beating Wales on Saturday night. Picture: Getty Images
As sporting epics go, Saturday night’s at the Flying Saucer Dome deserves acclamation as the best to come out of Paris since the city’s last Olympiad inspired Chariots of Fire.
Had Hollywood’s most creative minds colluded in dreaming up an identical narrative, the script would have been shredded as too far-fetched, even for a work of fiction, never mind for real.
One red card, three yellows, seven tries, five more disallowed, including three written off as insoluble mysteries and that’s without the x-certificate stuff.
Where Chariots won four Oscars, Wales deserved one according to their opponents for allegedly conspiring to get French lock Paul Willemse sent off for gouging.
A Spielberg or a Scorsese would have dismissed it as too incredible unless, of course, they knew a bit about Grand Slams of a Six Nations nature and their stupendous propensity for dealing in drama straight out of the you-couldn’t-make-it-up category.
The kneejerk reaction is to call it the most dramatic of all for no better reason than it’s the most recent.
Nine other Grand Slam occasions may help put it in a historical perspective:
A fitting finale for Gareth Edwards and Phil Bennett in tandem for the last time before their dual retirement. Bennett scored both tries, Edwards dropped a goal.
Just before kick off, the wife of a Scottish player turned to her English counterpart with a ‘may the best team win’ wish only to be told: ‘Don’t worry, we will.’ Scotland’s famous slow walk behind David Sole and Tony Stanger’s try defied the odds.
Another double Slam decider memorable for the greatest team try I have ever seen, finished off by Phillipe Saint-Andre more than 100 metres from where it began in the French in-goal zone after Simon Hodgkinson missed a penalty.
England under Lawrence Dallaglio’s gung-ho captaincy spurned a late penalty to have pushed the match beyond Welsh reach before being hit by Scott Gibbs’ sensational try and Neil Jenkins’ nerveless conversion. Grand Slam lost.
Another English Slam vanished like a mirage, picked off by Keith Wood’s peel from a line-out in perfect replication of a training ground move. The IRFU reacted by sacking Warren Gatland.
Momentous match between two unbeaten teams in the balance until the final quarter. The best England team of all-time ran away with it, 29 unanswered points giving the contest a distorted look.
A Welshman whose elder son would grow up to captain Ireland presided over his country’s first Slam for 27 years. Mike Ruddock’s abrupt resignation less than 12 months later provoked claims that he’d been ousted by player power.
Even after Ronan O’Gara’s historic drop goal, the whole of Ireland almost suffered a collective nervous breakdown before Stephen Jones’ last-shot penalty fell short. And that made Declan Kidney a Grand Slam coach at the first attempt.
A second Irish Slam never in doubt made this the perfect celebration of a snowy St Patrick’s Day.
What would have been the most astounding Slam of all picked out of Welsh pockets at the end of a colossal contest.
Peter O’Mahony, Zander Fagerson, Paul Willemse, three forwards from different countries and different rows of the scrum who have one thing in common: all three have been sent off against Wales over the last six weeks.
Fabien Galthie suspects it’s no coincidence. France’s head coach goes further and makes the unprecedented allegation that Welsh players have aided and abetted the red cards.
"If you watch the reaction of the Welsh players, it feels they specialise in making opponents get red cards," he said.
Matt Fagerson raised the issue last month in defence of his brother’s sending off at Murrayfield for a dangerous, no-arms tackle on Welsh loosehead Wyn Jones. "If Wyn Jones doesn’t roll around on the floor…that was pathetic," the younger Fagerson told Rugby World.
"He appeals to the ref, got nothing and then stayed on the floor.’’
Willemse got his red and deservedly so for gouging, not because any histrionics from the opposition but because of the forensic examination from Wayne Barnes as TMO under instructions from referee Luke Pearce. Between them, they handled a series of challenging issues with unfailing composure and clarity, especially Pearce.
As well as leaving them a man short, Willemse’s stupidity cost Brice Dulin of a try at a time when the gods were on the verge of crowning Wales champions before they changed their mind in the final seconds.
Galthie might have been better served rebuking Willemse than casting aspersions at the opposition. He still has some work to do if France are to add insult to Welsh injury and pip them to the title. They will require a minimum of four tries for a bonus point win which will not be enough unless the victory margin tops 20.
Eddie Jones’ post-match verdict about England ‘still knowing’ where they are going will have come as more disturbing news to their hordes of house-bound followers.
Losing to all three Celtic countries in the same championship for the first time since 1976 is not exactly their idea of progress. A beating in Dublin severe enough to have stirred memories of England’s choker at Croker and their 30-point thrashing in 2007 leaves no doubt that the old rivals are moving in opposite directions.
Ireland finish on a high, their best performance for sometime condemning England to an all-time low beneath everyone except Italy. The gap between the two can be gauged in a Lions context, assuming the alternative tour goes ahead. If it were to be played next week, then a convincing case could be made for Ireland supplying twice as many Test starters as England: six (Robbie Henshaw, Johnny Sexton, Conor Murray, Tadhg Furlong, James Ryan, Tadhg Beirne) against three (Anthony Watson, Maro Itoje, Tom Curry).
A seventh Irish player, Iain Henderson, demands inclusion among the 23, on the bench at the very least as due reward for his prodigious impact since returning from injury, one of the biggest single reasons for turning a sluggish Irish start into a thumping finish.
That the Ulsterman doubles up as a formidable blindside makes him all the more valuable.
Why play Itoje there, as has been suggested, when you have Beirne and the deadlocked Welshman Josh Navidi as a genuine three-in-one back row forward?
Stuart Hogg (Scotland); Watson (England), George North (Wales), Henshaw (Ireland), Josh Adams (Wales); Sexton, Murray (Ireland); Rory Sutherland (Scotland), Ken Owens (Wales), Furlong (Ireland); Maro Itoje (England), Ryan, Beirne (Ireland), Tom Curry (England), Taulupe Faletau (Wales).
Jamie George (England), Wyn Jones (Wales), Andrew Porter, Iain Henderson (Ireland), Justin Tipuric (Wales), Ben Youngs, Owen Farrell (England), Liam Williams (Wales).
And still they come, players ever ready to do their coach’s bidding and parrot the party line before going into action. After Liam Williams the previous week, Hamish Watson followed suit:
"It’s going to be a really tough game against Italy."
So tough that Scotland had their bonus point win wrapped up with four tries in less than half an hour which left ample time for four more. Edinburgh’s Dave Cherry helped himself to two which means that a grand total of 12 hookers have scored Test tries this season.
15 Brice Dulin (France).
14 Keith Earls (Ireland).
13 Robbie Henshaw (Ireland).
12 Gael Fickou (France).
11 Josh Adams (Wales).
10 Johnny Sexton (Ireland).
9 Conor Murray (Ireland).
1 Wyn Jones (Wales).
2 Julien Marchand (France).
3 Tadhg Furlong (Ireland).
4 Iain Henderson (Ireland).
5 Tadhg Beirne (Ireland).
6 Josh Navidi (Wales).
7 Charles Ollivon (France)
8 Jack Conan (Ireland).
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