Eimear Considine opens up about agony of her father’s death

Eimear Considine has never spoken publicly before about her childhood trauma.

She never wanted it to define her as a person or an athlete but, as the ambassador for a new mental well being campaign for Irish schools, figures it’s time to speak out about the worst day of her life.

She was 14 and Ailish was 13.

Their only brother Keith was 21 and living in Australia so it was just the two girls who went for a Sunday stroll on the beach in Lahinch with their dad Cyril, 15 years ago.

They’d just got back to the car when he had the heart attack.

Things float back now from the ether. The lifeguards rushing to do CPR on him, the emergency services arriving and the man from their native Kilmihil who spotted the unfolding horror, scooped his neighbours’ traumatised children into his car and followed the ambulance to Ennis Hospital.

They were so young and it was so surreal that she wonders still if it ever really sank in.

Dad was only 52 but he had bad health and his dad had died of a heart attack too. I think that’s another reason why we’re so health conscious.

Their mother was the glue that kept them together.

Those daughters still grew up to be high achievers; both teachers and inter-county dual stars for Clare in camogie and gaelic football. And there’s more.

Ailish made sporting history last year after joining Adelaide in the AFLW by becoming the first Irishwoman to win an Aussie Rules Premiership medal.

Eimear, who only took up rugby in her mid-20s, has played international Sevens and 15s and is excelling forIreland this season after switching from wing to full-back.

Long before coaches started preaching the sporting cliché to them, Kay Considine knew the power of ‘controlling the controllables.’

“It must have been extremely difficult for her but Mam was just amazing. She was like ‘what we can control here is to move on with our lives and take each day as it comes’. She was the person who took that control for us.

Eimear Considine. Credit: ©INPHO/Dan Sheridan.

“We were kept very busy with sport but she allowed us to be sad and to grieve too. It happened just at the start of Easter holidays and then going back to school afterwards helped normalise things.”

The day after her father died Considine still sat her practical exam in Junior Cert Home Economics.

“I insisted on doing it. I was like ‘No, I’ve practised soup and we’ve eaten soup constantly for two weeks so I’m doing this!’ I was very academic, such a swot!’” she recalls.

She’s never spoken before about her father’s death because “I didn’t want it to be the reason why I played rugby or was a successful sportsperson. People sometimes look for a reason for what drives people and I didn’t want it to be that,” she reflects.

I’ve had one of the most awful things happen to me so I suppose it did make me the person I am, but only in the way it made me put things into perspective. I learned resilience and perspective, especially in sport.

That perspective helped her when the Irish Sevens team didn’t qualify for the Rio Olympics and the 15s that she subsequently joined flopped at the 2017 home World Cup.

Burnt out by it all she took 2018 off completely and went travelling for a year with her boyfriend, Clare footballer, Dean Ryan.

It gave her perspective again when she was part of the transitional Irish team that only finished fifth in last year’s Six Nations.

But green shoots have emerged. Victories over Scotland (18-14) and Wales (31-12) leave Ireland unbeaten in this campaign, even if they’ve still to face the biggest guns — England on Sunday.

Considine attributes their improvement to the consistency of a new training ‘base’ — the IRFU’s High Performance Centre in Abbottstown.

There’s access to indoor and outdoor pitches and they’ve moved their gym sessions to the evenings, not at ungodly hours before work.

She lives in Castleknock and teaches PE and Irish in St Mary’s Glasnevin so, geographically, the new set-up suits her well.

She’s still part of an amateur team facing the might of pros and semi-pros on Sunday.

“But we’re not going out with the attitude that we’re going to lose. England are second in the world for a good reason but we’re pushing ourselves to be world-class too,” she stresses.

A new defensive coach (Kieran Hallett) has solidified them and Considine’s switch to full-back has definitely helped. She’s proven a quick study thanks to her GAA background, “especially camogie, because I used to play in defence, like a sweeper, so I’m used to covering positionally.”

Her personal tragedy makes her a particularly apposite face to front Rugby Players Ireland and Zurich’s ‘Tackle Your Feelings’ initiative, a mental well-being pilot programme for secondary schools which includes an interactive app.

“There’s a lot of focus on mental well being and mindfulness in the new Junior Cycle but nothing really for fourth to sixth year which is a stressful time,” Considine notes.

Teenagers never have their phone out of their hands so having the app means it’s literally at their fingertips and it’s really user-friendly.

"It’s designed to help teenagers acknowledge and take control of their feelings and to establish and access a personal support system.

“As a teacher I see students’ anxieties first-hand. Talking to friends and family is not a weakness.

"I feel that talking about what I’ve gone through is important; for girls and boys to see that we, as athletes, are normal people as well. We’ve had issues and also need to manage our well being and take control. It all helps to normalise it.”

www.tackleyourfeelings.com