Rain is wet, New Zealand beat Ireland... that’s just the way it is

Under-pressure Australia coach Robbie Deans said something fascinating in the wake of his side’s shock loss to Scotland in Newcastle a fortnight ago.

Rain is wet, New Zealand beat Ireland... that’s just the way it is

Asked to explain why the Wallabies were still capable of losing games to inferior opposition, Deans turned to amateur science. Australia, he said, didn’t have it “in their DNA” to close out the tightest games.

The All Blacks and Ireland started playing rugby together in 1905, about 48 years before doctors Watson and Crick discovered the structure of DNA, but it was easy to see a helix of truth in Deans’ words as those two sides trudged off the new AMI Stadium in Christchurch.

The All Blacks really had no right to win that test on Saturday. They started with a complacency that bordered on arrogance and by the time they realised that Ireland weren’t about to roll over to have their tummies tickled for the second week in a row, it was too late to dramatically alter the course of the game.

Ireland were committed, they kicked smarter, looked more comfortable in the frigid conditions and used a smart defensive pattern that involved the veterans Brian O’Driscoll and Gordon D’Arcy taking turns to squeeze Dan Carter’s time and space.

Pretty it wasn’t, but this was a night where paint-by-numbers patterns were going to be more valuable than Impressionist flourishes.

Ireland stripped the sport back to its core and preyed on All Black errors. The front row led the way and the rest, most notably the ever-impressive Sean O’Brien and Jamie Heaslip followed. As the scores were level and the game approached its final act, the Ireland scrum was on top and the All Blacks were a man down after Israel Dagg’s headless challenge on Rob Kearney.

In short, everything was falling into Ireland’s lap.

Ten minutes later the score read 22-19 to the All Blacks and another chapter of meritorious, but ultimately futile, defeat was writ into Ireland’s book of rugby legend.

It took an extraordinarily unfortunate series of events to reach that point — a knock-on while on attack, a dubious scrum penalty, a deflected drop-goal that gifted Carter another attempt — and yet…

… And yet you kind of knew it was coming. Call it Deans’ DNA theory, call it 107 years of evidence, call it outrageous fortune if you like, but you just knew the All Blacks would find a way to beat Ireland. And if that didn’t happen you just knew Ireland would find a way to beat themselves.

It’s just how it works.

Ireland get a chance to score that elusive first victory when the two sides meet in Hamilton this weekend. They’ve taken an unusual approach to pre-match preparations, choosing to base themselves in Queenstown, the adventure-holiday capital of the country, rather than Hamilton (which gets called many names, though “adventurous” or “holiday destination” are not some of them), the venue for the third test.

Without being a doomsayer, it will take a monumental effort for the tourists to get as close again.

Rather than take strength from last week’s contest, there is likely to be a sense of deflation around the camp, a feeling that the big opportunity has been lost.

Take it as read that the All Blacks will not labour under the illusion this time that they need only turn up to win.

They were stung not only by Irish endeavour, but by the harsh realities of their own fallibility.

Steve Hansen, in just his second game in charge of the tiller after eight years as assistant, was not impressed, labelling some of their rugby as “stupid”.

Hansen is, by nature, a straight-shooter and in the past has been criticised for a tendency to engage his mouth before his brain, but on this occasion stupid is not a word he would have used flippantly. It will have the desired effect.

Take it as read also, that no All Black wants to be on that first team to lose to Ireland, or Scotland, or Argentina, or the first team to lose to Wales since 1953.

These are the fears that are coded into New Zealand rugby’s DNA. The fear is as much a motivation, if not more so, than cups and trophies.

This is a good Irish side. At times, like last year when they beat Australia on Eden Park during the World Cup, it is a very good side.

With a bit more luck and a lot more belief in Christchurch, they could have become an immortal side.

Who knows whether any of that team will ever get such a chance again?

* Dylan Cleaver is deputy sports editor of the New Zealand Herald

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