I’m not jealous of old pros at Con

One is reluctant to turn a national forum into a parish newsletter but sometimes an occasion stirs the blood to the point where objectivity is impossible.

Fri, 05 Dec, 2003 - 00:00

Tomorrow, my club Dolphin play Cork Constitution.

I was playing the last time we clashed in Division One in 1998, and it still haunts me.

Pre-Munster revolution, the AIL pulse was beating strongly, marquees and Mercs littered the car-park and 3,000 people came to Musgrave Park to see the game.

We lost. Tactical naivete cost us the game in the dying seconds and the most galling thing afterwards was the attitude of some of the Con alickadoos. Light-headed with relief and gin there was a ‘nice try lads, now get back where you belong’ atmosphere. That being said, if the result had gone the other way, our crowing would have been equally insufferable.

It took Dolphin six years to recover and climb back up to the top flight, not helped by the fact that we lost our two best players to Con the following summer.

Trinity are older, Shannon have more AIL titles and Lansdowne and Wanderers reside at headquarters, but when it comes to the most influential club in Irish rugby history, there is no contest.

Con have dominated Irish rugby politics for decades through a combination of gifted administration and canny manoeuvring.

Their Temple Hill base is the Pentagon, Kremlin and Whitehall of Irish rugby.

If it ain’t decided there, it ain’t worth deciding.

Con’s approach is so simple it is brilliant. Get your people into positions of influence and use that influence to attract the best players to your club with promises of silverware and representative honours. One cannot blame the players, who have a right to further their own careers.

When a team achieves sustained success and wields massive power it inevitably attracts envy and resentment. We have seen this with England at the recent World Cup, and Con evoke the same feelings in other clubs.

For every other Cork side, it verges on hatred but in truth each club would admit to a reluctant admiration for the Cons’ professionalism and ruthless approach to success.

Individually, the Cons are some of the nicest guys you could meet but, collectively, they stand for white supremacy rugby-style.

You live to haul them off their perch, to the point where you lose your reason.

Immaturely, I would not set foot in Temple Hill from 1997 until 2002 when I was forced to return with the Little People for a Minor Cup match. However, those of you who do visit the holy ground should be aware of the Con commandments:

Thou shalt not order Beamish for thyself nor Ritz for thy missus or thou shalt be banished in shame.

When the ball is kicked in the air, thou shall shout “up, up, up, up” in the manner of a Cork merchant prince.

When ruck ball is won for the Cons, thou must scream, “we have, we have, we have,” in the same fashion.

If thou bear false witness against the three ruling families, thou shalt face eternal damnation.

Eh, allegedly, that is.

Tomorrow, Dolphin have an opportunity to strike a blow for the also-rans, the Cork teams who have struggled in Con’s shadow for so long. We all possess a grudging admiration for the Cons, we all try to replicate the Temple Hill template for success and we all happily socialise with their individual members.

But, when those crisp white jerseys trot out, we are all consumed with the same thought.

Destroy the old order.

I realise that with these sentiments that I have ended any lingering hopes of playing for Munster or Ireland A.

Ah, well. Away the Fins.

THE POACHED EGG XV:

(Players who have furthered their representative careers with their province, Ireland A or Ireland after joining Cork Constitution)

Backs:

15. Charlie Haly (Sunday’s Well)

14. Brian Walsh (Highfield)

13. Conor Mahony (Dolphin)

12. Cian Mahony (Dolphin)

11. Brian Roche (Sunday’s Well)