Munster hurling final bingo: How to enjoy Limerick v Tipperary in true style

Award yourself a point every time you can mark one of these off on Sunday

Someone saying they wished the game was on in Thurles

“If this was in Semple Stadium we’d be in the Square already, is all I’m saying. Everything would be fine, we’d be five minutes from our seats. This just isn’t the same, to be honest.” 

Someone saying the train station is very busy

“I was surprised because Iarnród Éireann are running below-capacity trains, I actually thought it’d be very quiet, in fact, that was the reason I booked the train in the first place, for the quietness, you know?” 

Someone suggesting the empty cans and bottles are a new phenomenon

“All I’m saying is that I was at matches in the seventies and I don’t remember this at all, there wouldn’t be a drink taken the whole day as far as I can recall, though I’ll grant you that I was only three years old at the time so my memory mightn’t be the most reliable.”

Someone complaining about the heat

“This is desperate altogether, I never felt heat like this. God, ’tis punishing. How will the players manage at all in this? I’ll keel over before I see the Marina unless I get a Magnum Classic, and by Magnum Classic I mean cold beer.” 

Someone says there’s a rumour of a named player missing out

“I met his uncle there on the train - we were the only two in the carriage - and he said our man got a dose of sunburn yesterday in the home place across the shoulders, the jersey would stick to him so they’re starting the young lad. Which young lad? I’m not the manager, am I?” 

Someone complains about having to walk to the stadium in Cork

Páirc Uí Chaoimh. Photo by Diarmuid Greene/Sportsfile

“There’s no need to be facetious, I never said there’s an underground train system to the Gaelic Grounds, but the fact is that Páirc Uí Chaoimh is eleven miles from the city centre, which is a fact from my Facebook group that I cherish.” 

Someone complains about having no minor game beforehand

“Is it really even a Munster final if there’s no minor game on beforehand? Where is its legitimacy without the usual curtain-raiser, eh? Riddle me that.” 

Someone mentions a celebrity

Cork supporter Cyril Kavanagh with JP McManus in 2018. Photo by Stephen McCarthy/Sportsfile

“There’s JP.” 

Someone refers to their parking issues

“I can’t make head nor tail of this - you can’t park here according to the stewards, yet there’s a rake of cars there already. I wonder if I offered this lad a few bob the way they bribed the stewards in Wembley?” 

Someone tries some mask-related humour

“So I saw your man from down the road getting off the train and I said the mask suited him because you couldn’t make out his face! Did you hear me? I saw your man from down the road getting off the train and I said the mask suited him because you couldn’t make out his face! That was a good one.” 

Some Limerick people refer to penalties in conversation with Tipperary people

“Of course ye wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for the call your man made against Clare in the game in the Gaelic Grounds.” 

Some Tipperary people refer to penalties in conversation with Limerick people

“Of course ye wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for the penalty your man for Cork in the game in Semple Stadium.” 

Someone makes a tiresome comparison with a past Munster final

“I mean, this was a good game, all things considered, I just think that if you went back to the late thirties you’d find there were several provincial deciders that were just at a higher quality in terms of consistency and competitiveness. That’s all.” 

Someone makes a reference to the qualifiers within 0.0001 seconds of the final whistle sounding

“We might meet again down the line!” 

Someone complains about walking in Cork and bakes in more complaints. Or the full house

 “I told you we should have parked closer like we did in 2005 when we were done out of that penalty in the heat. That wasn’t in Thurles either, but it was a better game than the one we just saw, let’s be honest.

“Is that JP?”