Ten things you’ll hear around Croke Park

1. “I’m outside the Shakespeare! THE SHAKESPEARE! What? What Luas stop?”

2. “Bus lanes . . . you can drive there on Sundays, I think.”

3. “Don’t tell your Mum we went into the pub and I’ll bring you to the Dundrum Centre on the way home.”

4. “Is that Marty?”

5. “The minor game or one more? Hmm . . . the minor game or one more? The minor game, or... ”

6. “I heard he didn’t train since the semi-final but they kept it quiet.”

7. “What? One Davin and one Hill for one Upper Cusack? This is... wait, wait, I’ll ring him and see if he’ll take it.”

8. “We can have a burger now or chance that Italian place on Jones’s Road, though I think Mick Wallace owns that. So a burger it is.”

9. “Stand in there. Just there. Make sure you get the top of the Hogan into the picture.”

10. “At least it wasn’t Kilkenny. Again.”