Time for Ireland’s finest to play the name game

AT THIS point in our history, it is difficult to keep election jargon off the agenda so I’m openly canvassing on the doorsteps of Gaeldom today on one simple issue which is now a priority.

It is a measure which costs very little, which will ease all our weary lives, which should attract support from the right, from the left and from the soggy centre of the GAA in equal measure and is a proposal,which above all, represents solid commonsense all round.

It is long past time when all hurlers and footballers of all counties in all competitions should have their names proudly emblazoned on their honourable jerseys.

Of course it is commonsense. Brian Cowen and Enda Kenny and Micheál Martin and Gerry Adams and Eamon Gilmore will all support the move across all the political divides. It surely will be passed unanimously without any abstentions. It will not require the casting vote of any Ceann Comhairle. The measure should speed through as quickly as last week’s Finance Bill solo run through two houses. It should be in a proud place by the time this year’s championship rolls around. And its introduction will cost mere cents rather than the billions we so casually talk about on the financial front. Am I right or am I wrong? There would be a feelgood factor attached to the move which would please all spectators and all players and, by heavens, we need all the feelgood factors we can get this February.

In my view the most likely source of difficulty would be from the mossy, monolithic and extremely conservative environs of GAA Headquarters in Croke Park. There are some extremely difficult creatures lurking in there as we all know. Change of any kind, but especially any changes associated with the practices of “foreign games” make them bristle. There’s a long history of that, back to the time of de Valera and Michael Collins and Archbishop McQuaide. At the same time and place, to give the current bosses their due, they have in more recent times softened their attitude. They have agreed to open their grounds to said foreign games and have even adopted yellow cards and red cards (I always myself campaigned for green cards rather than yellow!) so there is some flexibility now. That offers hope as this campaign begins.

A possible friction could be created by whether the names on the jerseys should be rendered in English or in Irish. The GAA, given its history and culture, is very attached to both the Irish language and Irish watermarked paper with lists of names. Myself and my spin doctors, however, have devised an answer.

We suggest in our campaign that the English version of the player’s name should be imprinted boldly across his shoulder blades whilst the Irish version should if necessary be emblazoned over his mighty heart on the front. Howzat for a solution?

On a more serious note, especially in hurling, it is time that players are more readily identifiable. The imposition of the helmet and their training and diet regimes have honed current players into lean mean clones of each other. They are all athletic giants, faces hidden, their individuality cloaked by their team style. They all look very alike except to those who have been watching them since they were juveniles. This is already presenting problems for referees and their assistants, not to speak of RTÉ commentators. To have their names clearly and bilingually visible would add significantly both to our viewing pleasure and to the controlling of the game. The footballers too, even without helmets, now look very similar in appearance. There are many shaven heads, they are all over six feet tall, they move with a common style and purpose. The individual styles of all but the elite few have virtually disappeared into true team templates. It is easy to mistake one for the other when the going gets fast and furious. We all know that.

I move the motion that the practice of naming jerseys in future should apply to all levels of inter-county competition. Anyone good enough to play for his (or her) county at any level would be proud to wear their name afield. One thinks especially of minors who may well only get a chance to represent their county at that level and fail afterwards to make the breakthrough to senior level. How proud they will be in later life to possess the named jersey that hallmarks the season when they played for their county. And at any level, for supporters, how special the sight of new jerseys manned by the latest generations of fabled football and hurling family dynasties like the Bardens of Longford, the Doyles of Tipperary, the Ó Ses of Kerry, the Delaneys of Laois, the Brogans of Dublin, so many more. Hear us saying from the stands: “He’s good but he’ll never be as good as his father!”

There are no constituency boundaries involved in this campaign of mine. This is a national matter in which the electorate can be called the selectorate.

If carried, the named jerseys can be in action across the country within days at minimum expense. It will only cost pence. It will energise further both the players and spectators. It will add coloir and glamour no matter how deeply the recession bites or which Government is in office. Names on the backs and fronts of our GAA sporting stars are far more vital in the end than the faces of politicians on posters attached to telegraph poles.

Vote for change. Vote for commonsense. Unite for a more informed future on sporting fields. Use your number one.