Why sport needs to find a new Eliot Ness

I NEVER seem able to place the kind of bets that are apparently available if you’re a follower of international cricket.

Maybe you’ve got to know a little man off the Gowalia Tank Road in Mumbai, or visit that nondescript shop next to the chapati manufacturers on Pandit Nehru Avenue in Agra but I can’t for the life of me find a European bookmaker who will let me gamble on the number of times that Graeme Swann will tie his shoelaces before the lunch break or how many tweets Kevin Pietersen will write during the 20/20 season.

Sure Paddy Power have offered a few off-the-wall wagers this season. You can back John Terry and Wayne Bridge to share a handshake at the City of Manchester Stadium on September 25 at 3/1, or Alex Ferguson to replace Roberto Mancini at 500/1 or even what Andrey Arshavin will moan about next (English women at 12/1 looks attractive).