Rafa still moaning as the drab just gets drabber

FOR sale; one football club, rather tarnished, good fixer upper (just needs floor, roof and walls), bargain at €600 million.

I’m sure there will be a queue a mile long for this unique opportunity to swap your billionaire lifestyle for a desperate search for a soup kitchen. Who could possibly resist? If they’re still looking for a new stadium name, try The Money Pit. €600m for the club and the hucksters’ debts, €400m for a stadium and more millions for a manager who thinks if you throw enough mud, some is bound to stick.

He’s squealing again about needing to spend big. Notorious for starting fires, he needs this particular blaze to whip up a smokey distraction for the abject performances this season.