It’s hasta la vista, Jose as Tevez gets the off mark

IF I may get all Arnie on your ass for an intro: farewell Jose, The Terminated, and enter Coneman The Barbarian, as Avi Grant has been so cruelly dubbed. I note Mrs Grant also made a splash, so to speak, in the weekend papers here for ingesting her own urine on Israeli tv.

United, by contrast, preferred to EXTRACT the wee from the husband on Sunday; never have I seen such an abominable refereeing display, and I can still clearly remember the 1989 FA Cup quarter-final.

The British press was also full of a countryside outbreak of the Bluetongue Virus and at first glance I thought this was a reference to the foaming at the mouth of the massed Chelsea Blues, who have reacted with all the stupidity and lack of class, one has come to expect from the bandwagon-jumping cretins.