Fast and furious

NEVER got the whole motor car thing. Us blokes are supposed to be uniformly fascinated by football, breasts and engines, in that order, but cars leave me cold, couldn’t tell me Lexus from me Lada.

Therefore, the world of motor sport is equally perplexing, lap after monotonous lap, tyre pressure, axles, tail-fins, suspension, aerodynamic chassis, wha?

Any time the over-hyped Formula One crosses the screen, I am left with an overwhelming desire to fish out the monopoly board and send RTÉ's Peter Collins back to his former life as a Beat on the Street DJ.