Forget the next nine months. Forget the thrills, the spills, the outrageous goals, the infuriating VARs, the performative histrionics. You’ll only be wasting your time. One of the tabloids wheeled out a 22nd century item of technology during the week to forecast the placings of the 2024-25 Premier League. It’s all over bar the shouting.
The item in question was a supercomputer of the kind beloved of the tabloids. Not a common or garden computer, oh no, but a living, breathing SUPERcomputer. Bow down and be awed, peasants!
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