Larry Ryan: Should we condemn our kids to a pact with the devil?

Already, an unhealthy proportion of our citizens are having the shape of their week distorted by where in England an Ecuadorian midfielder would prefer to live

FRED THE RED: Manchester United's Dutch manager Erik ten Hag plays with the team mascot. (Photo by DARREN STAPLES/AFP via Getty Images)

No doubt Mikel Arteta had the chat sometime during the summer, probably with his wife. “You’ll calm down a small bit on the touchline this season, won’t you?” 

Mikel possibly considered delivering another lecture on the vital importance of passion, before accepting that, yeah, he’ll try to rein it in alright. He may even have enjoyed a daydream or two, imagining himself as a study of phlegmatic calm, unruffled as his hair, safely within the boundaries of his technical area, trusting his players and the officials to get on with their jobs.