Tommy Martin: The data guru is the true Premier League MVP

Haaland’s goalscoring feats had the English football record keepers reaching for their dustiest scrolls.

GOALS MACHINE: Erling Haaland's goalscoring exploits have kept the data guru's busy.

You would have had to be pretty stupid to argue that Erling Haaland was going to be anything other than a massive success in the Premier League, so naturally some of us gave it a try.

Yes, this Norse goal-buffalo seemed tailor-made for the ravages of the English top flight. He was big, strong, fast and had a dad called Alfie. Plus, he would be playing for the greatest attacking machine in the modern game. He would be an all-powerful Sun King gorging himself while Pep Guardiola’s slick civil service kept the wheels of state turning. It seemed obvious.