Tommy Martin: World Cup aftermath an unpretty picture all of our species must face 

Apologies in advance. This is a respectable newspaper renowned as a platform for erudition and analysis. This is not a thesis you’ll see published in academic journals or by respected think tanks. Nor is it the sort of crude terminology this column normally trades in.

PRESENTATION: FIFA president Gianni Infantino (left) and The Emir of Qatar, Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani present Argentina captain Lionel Messi with the FIFA World Cup trophy.

Sport reflects society, they say, so it was always likely Sunday’s FIFA World Cup final would provide a snapshot of the whole crazy ding dong we have going on right now.

Sure enough, no sooner had the best World Cup final anyone can remember finished than the ominous chords of our discordant times began to sound. The lengthy post-match palaver following Argentina’s victory soon encapsulated the great unifying problem of our species; the single, over-arching challenge that we all face: namely, that we are surrounded by arseholes.