Paul Rouse: Training to become a middle-aged boxer. What could go wrong?

I have a plan. The question is what will happen to that plan when I get punched in the face

I have a plan. The question is what will happen to that plan when I get punched in the face

At the end of February, I am to make my debut as a boxer. My friend Murt has appointed himself as my coach. He has never boxed either, but being reared on a diet of Rocky films and Muhammad Ali television appearances means he feels well-placed to direct operations.

His main contribution so far has been to make elaborate plans for the production of a short film of my ‘training camp’. This is to involve not merely footage of me sparring with a range of different opponents, but also me chopping wood and lifting boulders and displaying all manner of physical prowess in forests and mountains. He is a man for whom the aesthetic is everything.