Michael Moynihan: Steps to follow and to avoid in Covid fight

IN SAFE HANDS: Palmeiras goalkeeper Weverton celebrates with his daughter after Saturday’s 1-0 Copa Libertadores final win over Santos at the Maracana Stadium. Picture: Ricardo Moraes/Pool via AP

I’m sure that you, like me, are delighted to see how well our cousins in the Antipodes are doing with the coronavirus. And, like me, you are probably not at all weary of hearing how fantastically well New Zealand, in particular, has done.

Interesting, then, to see one or two speed bumps crop up in Australia which may in time have an effect on us here.

Take the report last week that Rugby League officials down under are looking to have NRL (National Rugby League) players vaccinated ahead of other groups in the country.

“Emergency workers have got to get it first and the most vulnerable have got to get it first. Who is after that? Well, that’s where we come in,” Peter V’landys, the Australian Rugby League Commission chairman, said. “Under no circumstances are we going to jump the gun and go before emergency workers and the most vulnerable.

“But after that, there’s naturally some discussions to be had, to be on that list relatively high.”

This is not the first time a sport in Australia has put its hand up for vaccines, to mix metaphors. Cricket Australia asked for its national side to be prioritised for vaccination ahead of an upcoming tour to South Africa on the grounds that such a tour would be dangerous. Which is close enough to the definition of a circular argument, not to mention brass neck.

In fairness, these appeals have not met with universal approval. The head of the Australian cricket players association was unequivocal (“It’s not morally defensible for sportspeople to jump the queue, is my view”) while regarding the rugby league request, an academic specialising in vaccine uptake said groups asking for exceptional consideration “opens up a large can of worms that the (Australian) government has to deal with”.

That academic, Julie Leask, added: “Most of the NRL players in their 20s or 30s will be in the last priority groups for vaccinations given they are young, fit, and healthy people. The question is: is there an ethical or economic case for prioritising the players?

“There are going to be groups that haven’t been thought of who will say, ‘What about us? Are you putting an NRL player ahead of me?’

I know what you’re thinking: that it would be more in our own crowd’s line to get more vaccines in the first place, and we can dance on the head of a pin when it comes to priority and queues later.

This debate is something that should be noted, at least.

It’s hard to imagine that any Irish sporting body would be so tone-deaf as to suggest its fit, strong, healthy membership should be allowed to jump the queue for a vaccine ... but would you rule it out?

There’s no end of fun to be had here guessing which sporting organisation would be most likely to shoulder their way to the head of the line for the jab, or how it might then try to justify its plea for priority.

However, even if it’s a thought flitting around the back of some dimwitted administrator’s mind, the starkness of the terms of debate in Australia should surely put them right.

That’s the country, don’t forget, we were all applauding for slapping manners onto Novak Djokovic for his tantrums about quarantining (Or No-Vaxx Djokovic, a nickname so good it validates this entire column simply by being quoted.) It just goes to show that even the smoothest among us have the ability to snatch a defeat from the jaws of victory. Or a catastrophic own goal, at least.

Hopefully it won’t come to that, not least because it will spare us all the hypocrisy two-step we usually endure when an organisation puts its foot in it, the inevitable sequence when that organisation realises it has miscalculated and then moves to the dreaded conclusion: the non-apology apology proffered to “anyone who may have been offended”.

This is a clear case of real priorities. Surely there isn’t a sport in Ireland whose practitioners or governing body feel it’s more important than other sectors of the community? Surely.

Super Bowl without the razzmatazz

The normal and the new.

In a normal year, a reference to the Super Bowl around this time — a week out from the event — would pique the interest. ‘That was a quick year,’ you’d think. ‘I presume Tom Brady is involved, as usual.’

(Wrong on the first assertion, right on the second.)

In this year of years, news of the Super Bowl — a genuine sports event, an annual game, a deciding contest — is like opening a time capsule to glimpse the innocence of long ago. It has a secondary relevance, of course, in that it remains one of the most-covered sports events on the calendar. This reached a peak, or trough, a few years ago when a news outlet sent someone to cover a hitherto-undiscovered angle: the poor hack in question had to rustle up a piece based on what was said by the people coming out of the toilets.

At least I hope it was based on what they said.

This year there’s a genuine innovation for reporters across all platforms, though — Sarah Thomas will become the first female official at the event. If you plan on staying up next weekend keep your eyes open: I’m sure no commentator will mention it.

Easy with the outrage

I see the latest target of the Legions of the Perpetually Outraged is the RTÉ Sports Personality of the Year. Or the All-Stars. Or is it Manager of the Year?

Whatever you choose to be affronted by, I wish you luck. After all, the taking of umbrage is a relatively harmless outlet at a time when no-one can travel more than five kilometres from home unless you need to be in some sun-kissed location acting as an influencer*.

It’s understandable people are getting fixated on vague insults, of course. The sheer lack of actual sport — call it primary content — leads to a disproportionate focus on the supporting thickets of commentary. If we were soldiering through more events there’d be a little less time to collect the pitchforks and the blazing torches. As it stands, those are to hand all the time.

Seriously, though, can we declare a moratorium on the angry mob scenes? And maybe hold off on the outrage until there’s some actual sports event we can roar about?

(*May not be totally accurate).

Harpo (still) speaks

Apologies if I appear to be regressing to my childhood when it comes to reading material lately, but out of nowhere an old favourite popped into my head recently, and I was able to track down a copy on the internet.

Accordingly, Harpo Speaks! popped through the letterbox the other day — thanks Tony — and I was transported.

It’s Harpo Marx’s autobiography, which reminds me that I’d probably have to explain to younger readers who Harpo was, never mind the supporting cast of characters who pop up in this one.

Neysa McMein, George Kaufman, Alexander Woolcott, and Heywood Broun are no longer household names (even in their own households, as the old joke goes) but they live on here. A great read.

Contact: [e-mail]