Footballers slow to get in the Christmas spirit

Our man inside the game hasn’t too many positive memories of the festive season

If you were a footballer, what are the questions you would always expect to answer? Who is the best player that you’ve ever played against? Yawn — Paul Scholes, if you’re interested. Who is the best player that you’ve ever played with? Yawn. Who is the biggest wanker you’ve played against? Ah, now we’re getting somewhere… Cesc Fabregas, Robbie Savage and John Terry are tied in the biggest wanker stakes, I’m afraid. I wish I could give you more. It’s that time of year, after all.

But there’s another question. A better question.