Ronan O'Gara reflects on a challenging week and says 'thank you' to Ulster fans
The point where the body shuts that down and diverts to other emotions arrived last Friday night at the Lakeside Hotel in Killaloe.
Even that morning before Axel’s funeral, everybody was just wiped. I really don’t know how the Foley family kept putting one foot in front of another, where they got the strength to keep going, but it came from somewhere.
We had a brilliant Friday night together with Brendan Foley. He kept asking for those 30-minute extensions from his family before he was brought home. The staff in the Lakeside were brilliant.
There were little snugs and pockets in the bar and we found a corner where you could get 30 people around in a circle. Brendan, Brian Hickey, Jerry Holland, Willie Duggan, Paul McCarthy, Alan Gaffney, Trevor Brennan, and a gaggle of Munster players.
Telling stories about the good old days. Those days might be past, but they felt current and very relevant. It was a special night. It was just a great rugby moment.
You move on quickly in professional sport, but just as quickly you fall back into the bond and the being-there-for-each-other mentality that existed for 10 to 15 years with Munster.
You step outside the tent and get an alarmingly clear perspective of what makes the province special. My ribs were crying from hard laughing.
Gaillimh was very tight with Axel. He was extremely upset, but he was front and centre, as ever, Friday night. That was his way of handling the awfulness. He was still leading, only he didn’t notice it.
A week just thinking of one thing, one person, and hoping he might just walk in the door and join us in his home village.
I think we felt tight but brutally exposed as the first day without Axel dawned Saturday.
Being back in Paris this week returns a bit of structure but the road from Killaloe to Dublin on Saturday for the flight to Birmingham was long and full of thoughts I didn’t want.
How long before we get that fraternal feeling again? There’s only one reason you sit in those circumstances. You wouldn’t do it for a wedding.
There’s a very special brigade that can bind Munster together again, old Munster — led by Claw, Gaillimh, and Axel.
last Saturday was very special, the inexplicable relevance of a rugby match completely inappropriate yet perfectly normal.
In terms of atmosphere after kick-off, it had the same edge and bite of the night Munster played the All Blacks eight years ago. I was a spectator that night too but there the similarities end.
In fairness to Munster Rugby, these things don’t organise themselves. They have got enough stick over the last three years, but the organisation deserves enormous credit for this.
From the moment the Munster Supporter Club Choir and Sinead O’Brien broke into ‘Stand Up And Fight’, there was a special rhythm and cadence about the day. Everything seemed to flow beautifully.
There is a down side to having a stadium that size for a club team, but when it’s like Saturday, there isn’t a ground in the world that compares to it.
The atmosphere you get from the supporters of Munster isn’t like anywhere else, and I’ve played all around the world.
When Keith Earls got sent off, everything moved up a notch, as if the crowd were as acutely aware as the Munster players that Glasgow are a team that can turn around a 14-point deficit in a hurry.
And from that moment, there never seemed to be a moment’s danger to the storyline.
I have been harping on in this column for a long time about the Munster crowd when you have them onside.
That crowd Saturday was a double-figure lead. It’s like starting 10-0 up.
And they underlined again what pressure can do to a team like Glasgow, who didn’t come and roll over but got knocked over like a skittle.
Compelling evidence once more of what a crowd can do and what a performance from Munster can produce.
That would have beaten any team on Saturday.
The occasion was special, yes, but the performance on the pitch was extremely accurate. Tyler Bleyendaal will know what’s meant when I say he might have preferred a day with one or two small errors, because it was almost too perfect.
People will say the way he played, knocking over touchline conversions for fun, was just one of those freaky days from the sporting gods.
You can’t expect that every week.
What he needs to do is back that sort of accuracy up in the future.
He’s rested for Ulster tonight, but even if he is dropping 10%-15% in quality in his next outing, he is still at a very high pitch and delivering a cracking game.
He’s of good stock from the Crusaders, mentally he’d be durable. But again it emphasises the role of the Munster crowd. You hop on their back and they carry you.
Everyone down there and up in the stands knowing the importance of honouring Axel, of delivering something worthy.
And every few minutes and break in play, you’re thinking, ‘I shouldn’t be here, why am I here?’
Images of Axel appear on the screen and you are trying to watch a game of rugby, thinking of Olive and the kids, convincing yourself that this is part of the healing process.
We must believe it is because it’s all we know by way of helping.
Leicester Tigers on Sunday was a distraction, good or bad I’m not sure yet. Racing failed to deliver a performance at Welford Road, meaning that’s five away games, five defeats, and not one point on the road this season.
We were good in some areas, but no scrum and no line-out equates to losing a game every time.
How we were in it as late as we were is a bit of a mystery when you watch the tape back.
We might have had a valuable bonus point but for a late Leicester penalty, which said a lot about the current interpretation of the tackle, but today is not the time for such debates.
What is very important to me is the massive progress the game of rugby has made in Ireland when you watch the Ulster fans singing ‘The Fields of Athenry’ in salute to Axel in Belfast against Exeter.
Straight from the kick-off, in Ravenhill of all places.
We give out enough times about Ulster but to show their class by doing that was magnificent. And it wasn’t just a small corner, it was the whole ground singing. Incredible. Thank you.
Once the two provinces kick off tonight in the PRO12 at the same ground, Ulster fans will expect their lads to kick lumps out of Munster — and that’s fine too.
For the visitors, coming off last Saturday, it’s like a new page and the mistake would be trying to repeat the Glasgow experience and emotion.
Munster must treat it as a one-off, a special day for those players who experienced it. Tonight’s starting over, but subconsciously the Munster players will have taken a huge amount of self-confidence from the performance against Glasgow.
Irrespective of the occasion, remember how accurate they were, how they blitzed the Warriors at ruck time, when they kept the ball in hand.
They must take massive positives from that. And with 14 men, the work-rate for each other.
They will get no crumbs of comfort from Ulster. They know that.
A week after we left Axel in Clare, I head for Bayonne tonight for a crucial Top 14 game.
They’re scrapping for their Top 14 lives already, but they’ve already beaten Toulon at home.
In their backyard, you’ve got to be made of stern stuff to survive, show no sign of softness, or mental weakness.
Put down a marker. We say these things. This is when the jersey on your back, the crest, must mean something.
Stand up and fight.
Rugby, eh?
