Brolly just latest to suffer with the sniffles
No doubt, it was a long-term runny nose that ensured Richard Scudamore’s PA was able to enjoy sexist bantz as she dealt with Premier League business. There must have been a dangerous shortage of antihistamine across the US on Tuesday when the 18-year-old daughter of the Milwaukee Bucks owner appeared briefly on TV during the NBA draft and had eyes running and mouths drooling all over social networks.
A cursory glance at the Twitter account @everydaysexism will alert the World Health Organisation to an allergy epidemic.
At first, many suspected the man-size tissues must have been annoyingly out of reach when Joe Brolly marked Rachel Wyse’s appointment as Sky Sports’ GAA anchor by describing her as a ‘Baywatch babe’.
But they would be mistaken. Joe had to cough up an apology and slurp his medicine from RTÉ, but in reality we had taken him up all wrong. Joe had simply been mounting a gallant protest against Sky’s “shamelessly sexist entrenched beautiful anchor formula”.
If gentlemen have neglected many feminist causes over the years, this is one on which we have been traditionally strongest.
As ready as we are to salute the fine people who bring us Sky Sports News every blessed minute of every day, we have always been a little uneasy about the beauty.
It is not so much the presentability of lads like Simon Thomas or David Garrido that troubles us, but we instinctively know something is not right about the women. Our protests have taken many forms; we have arranged them into lists; we have debated their assets and liabilities; in an effort to easily distinguish them from human beings, we have bracketed them as ‘totty’.
Taking our concerns further, Dizzee Rascal, the poetic voice of a generation, recently pronounced one of these women’s ‘tits’ to be “an inspiration”. Dizzee wasn’t sure of her name, but added “Let’s Get It!”, the sniffles clearly too much for him.
Women, too, have voiced their own concerns about this dangerous amalgam of broadcasting talent and care for your appearance. Gabby Logan, the only British female TV broadcaster going to the World Cup, suggested it was all very well Sky giving attractive women jobs in sports media, but she wondered if there was a career path for them.
Of course Gabby had missed the point altogether. As we learned this week, allowing these women to read the sports news is bad enough but promoting one of them to a job that has been the preserve of men is when the alarm bells truly start ringing.
It is the kind of problem a US radio broadcaster dealt with last year when he told us: “I’m willing to share my sandbox as long as you remember, you’re in my box… it’s a man’s world.”
He soon blew his nose and apologised and assured us he had meant no disparagement to women. People had taken him up all wrong.
Funnily enough, there may have been a time when Sky overlooked women’s ability when hiring them. In the early days of Sky News, when sport was strictly a 20-past-the-hour filler that they struggled to fill, Tessa Sanderson got the gig, presumably on the basis that she was one of Britain’s most beloved athletes. She made gaffes and people had a good laugh at her expense.
Until she became quite good at it and people ignored her.
That kind of thing doesn’t happen any more. Wonder why. In every interview she gives, Natalie Sawyer — the lucky owner of Dizzee’s inspiration, incidentally — talks about her lifelong interest in sport, the university study, the local radio experience, the background in research, the coffee-making, the endless screen tests.
Deep down, however, we go back to Dizzee for the real reasons for her progress and we are outraged.
Ah, it’s a load of old PC nonsense anyway, isn’t it? Whenever the pollen rises and a man makes a slip, we still hear that. Where does the odd loose remark really rank on the sexism scale? Surely a long way short of Andy Gray asking another of the Sky Sports News’ women to “tuck that in for me, love”.
There was a conference in Dublin last week called Women On Air, where the relative scarcity of women on the Irish airwaves was discussed. They talked about needing confidence to overcome barriers and gain credibility where none is assumed.
Off the record — because it wouldn’t do to appear too sensitive to this kind of stuff — women in the media talk about their horror at reading comment after comment about their appearance; about the unwanted sexual advances; about sitting crying in their cars after coming off air; about the rape threats when they say something people disagree with.
On hearing that, we might all check the pollen count.
Some weeks bring us closer to the heroes. Ultimately, just like everyone else, it’s all about love and cake for these guys.
Having seen Sheikh Mansour and his buddies tuck into a massive cake to celebrate the title, it was heartbreaking to watch footage of Yaya, his own big heart in pieces, on City’s flight to Abu Dhabi. As Nasri sang ‘happy birthday’ and the cabin crew wheeled out the small cake, the big man kept the head down and the tears just about at bay.
We knew nothing of his pain. As his agent pointed out, when Yaya finished second in the PFA awards, the club produced no cake at all.
If there is suspicion Yaya wants to have his cake and eat it — a condition that hasn’t helped Kolo?
He isn’t the only midfield legend hungry for love.
Jimmy Bullard — in his new book Bend it Like Bullard — told us how he and another generational talent, David ‘Bents’ Bentley, would order Big Macs to their rooms on England duty. We learned Jimmy and Bents — having the bantz — decided Fabio Capello looked like Postman Pat and would break this news “as loudly as possible within earshot of the gaffer”.
Jimmy never got his England cap. Worse, Postman Pat never put an arm around him. “I never felt particularly loved.” We can imagine Pat, looking at Jimmy and Bents, would have baked and delivered a big, big cake for Yaya.
STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
Caroline Wozniacki: “It’s a hard time for me right now. Happy I support Liverpool right now because I know I’ll never walk alone.” As Stevie will tell you, we go again.
Louis van Gaal: Many soldiers on the United press beat discovered hitherto unknown reserves of bravery during the Moyesian winter. We’ll soon see if it was a temporary emboldening.
Atletico Madrid: A team with greatness in mind should always have a header from a corner in their locker, especially when it comes to business time. Atletico have an endless supply, a mark of the conviction Simeone has instilled.
HELL IN A HANDCART
Jesus Gil: Long dead, but the colourful old crook has to get a mention on a day like this. Rode through town on an elephant last time Atletico won the league. If the old enemy fall tonight, he’ll raise all hell.
