A distinctly English problem

However England got on last night — it doesn’t matter anyway, since they have decided not to win the next World Cup — it was a long week for the current undisputed holder of the All-England Controvassy title.

Jack Wilshere snatched the crown by popping a fag in his mouth, then cemented his standing by misjudging the wind when blowing smoke about English identity.

An easy mistake. For we are at a time of some flux in England, as the final touches are put to their plans to lift the 2022 World Cup.