Out of the darkness, into the light

Just suspend disbelief for a moment and try visualising the following scenario, implausible though it may sound. Clare won this year’s All-Ireland all right, but they won it the first day.

And it was no classic, no fireworks display, but a tight, joyless, low-scoring final. Clare 1-16 Cork 0-17, something like that.

How would we have acclaimed them then?