Make way, Joey, for ze real hero

Becks allows us believe in immortality.

It is possible to imagine him at 60, still taking free-kicks and whipping in the odd cross

We learned, last weekend, from French newspapers, that Joey Barton was ‘peut-etre trop intelligent’ to be a footballer. Or, as Joey probably told them; ‘maybee, ‘ow you say, zis leetle beet too intelleejant for ze football, oui?’