Behind the scenes of the mixed zone melee
To be fair, that will probably be the case today when, under Uefa’s strict orders, the Irish manager and at least one player must take their seat at the top of an ample press conference.
But it certainly hasn’t been the case for most of the last few days.
Take yesterday. We had the mixed zone.
One former colleague described the experience as “a group of unfit, most middle-aged men trying to get a 19-year-old millionaire to describe the choreography of a two-yard tap-in”.
Another colleague, rather philosophically, said he felt it was a situation that illustrated both the best and worst in humanity.
To fully understand the root of such hyperbole, it’s probably best to explain the circumstances.
With the Irish mixed zones over the past week, steel barriers have been put in place to create a corridor between the exit of the Gdynia training pitch and the entrance to the plush team coach.
Either side, the journalists assemble. Position here is crucial. As it is for the players.
The most disdainful will walk through the middle, far enough away from either side to get away with not even acknowledging the media.
Others see it like a rota.
“Ah, I did it yesterday,” he’ll say.
Then there’s the likes of Damien Duff, for whom it’s endearingly accepted that he just hates talking and couldn’t be bothered with it.
Others try the ‘on the phone’ approach. And, yes, it has happened that some have gone off while a player has pretended to be talking.
Finally, there are the sure things.
“There’s Keith/John/Stephen. He’s always good value.”
The more you do mixed zones, though, the more you also notice the little idiosyncrasies players develop for it too.
Do you ever notice how, when you leave a voicemail, you almost have a little song you repeat that rises in tone until you say your number?
Players are exactly the same with mixed zone questions. You can judge when a response is coming to an end. The tone will rise and he will build to some kind of definitive statement, usually centred around words like “certainly”, “ready” and, indeed, “statement”.
In essence, though, the mixed zone is obviously a lot less useful than one-on-one interviews. Players will rarely say anything in them unless they expressly want to make a specific point. The last time I can remember this happening with Ireland was after the Slovakia game when Aiden McGeady wanted to explain his performance and answer some criticism.
Of course, while all of this is going on, the scene is decidedly undignified. Journalists are jostling for space. Some aren’t even able to listen, just trying to contort or stretch their body in order to get their microphone close enough that it can pick up the players’ words.
Finally, after that, comes the often dramatic job of framing them.
Final thought: does this constitute “slamming” mixed zones?
