Just 234 reasons why Messi is greatest

We’ve long passed the glory days when YouTube could claim a week as its own.

The original keyboard-playing cat. The sneezing baby panda. Twink’s voicemail. Good, if unproductive, times.

This was a week, however, when the here and now could wait its lousy turn. Lionel Messi’s hat-trick against Granada smacked the bottom of the internet and all his 234 goals for Barcelona came oozing out in one dollop. What could you do but stare at it mesmerised? Ordinarily, goal compilations leave me cold. Shorn of context and drama, even the sweetest finish can eventually look as functional as an Argos table.