Brace for the Blackwash as New Zealand bring the pain
They are licking their huge chops with the greatest of relish. And who would blame them? That was a horrific mismatch of a boxing clash between David Haye and the pitiful Audley Harrison last weekend. The upcoming clash between a rapidly declining Ireland and the All Blacks is in the same league in a different code.
The result is a foregone conclusion and the statistics at the long whistle are certain to be in keeping with our universal mood of recession. If I could afford to leave the country next weekend, I most certainly would. I reckon it is going to be that bad.
The Haye/Harrison mismatch at least had the potential of a surprise. One sucker punch from the flawed giant with the frightened eyes atop 18 stone of beef could have created an upset. There is no prospect at all of that in the rugby contest. There is a track record which tells it all in advance. We have played the All Blacks no less than 23 times in the last century. We have never beaten them once. There were a few occasions when Irish teams in much better fettle than nowadays came close enough but the dreadful record speaks for itself. This one is over before it begins.
Is it unpatriotically foolish to say things like that? I don’t think so.
In the weeks when we need to be watching our cash there might even be a strong case, even for alickadoos, for staying at home and suffering in silence in the sitting room as the slaughter develops. It would be less painful, I feel, to listen to it on the radio rather than having to watch the images of doom as well on the telly. It’s a suggestion.
That poor showing against the lowly Samoans last weekend could have been even worse.
Facts are that Ireland could easily have lost their seventh game in a row. Only for the still trusty boot of Ronan O’Gara (and maybe the speedy mind of Peter Stringer for the try), the rugged Samoans could have taken a scalp which is nowhere near as formidable now as it used to be. The eventual victory was as hollow as it could be.
It certainly did not send any shivers up All Black spines. Just tingles of gleeful anticipation.
You don’t need to be a rugby expert in depth to see that this Irish team which has served the nation so well for the last five or six years is now in rapid decline. They gave us golden days to match the antics of the Celtic Tiger. They put Triple Crowns and a Grand Slam on the nation’s grateful head. They were exciting and dashing and tough and young.
Now, despite the infusion of new blood, it is the old story of too many miles on too many clocks and, tellingly, the great talismanic Paul O’Connell has been missing from the scene for a long time.
The scrum, the most elemental element of rugby, is a rough guide in its way to the fire and fury and controlled passion of a side. The Samoans converted the Irish scrum into a broken shambles for much of last week’s battle and that was a telling fact.
What will the All Blacks not do to them? And their real menace comes away from the scrummaging cockpit.
The Irish side on duty against Samoa was not Kidney’s top side but the backbone was still there and some of the once fluid discs on that spine now are slipping. The game proved that the “new blood” (apart perhaps from the towering Devin Toner) has not yet been fully infused into the system. Too many of the old guard are still a necessary part of the mix. And for how long more can the brilliant Brian O’Driscoll continue to absorb the heavy hits he is taking as he does the work of two men and acts as captain too?
The All Blacks will give him another torrid afternoon for sure.
Forget all the punditry for the rest of the week. There is no evidence that the losing streak which has lasted for over a century is likely to end. There is a slaughter on the way. At best Ireland will be gallant in defeat. At worst it will be a rerun of the Haye/Harrison affair. Listen to it on the radio to minimise the pain.
* Contact: cormac66@hotmail.com
