The look of love
Finding the right photographer is one of the most important decisions you’ll make during wedding planning
When you marry for the right reasons, your wedding day will forever be one of the happiest days of your life.
As you walk down the aisle towards your partner, you should be absolutely giddy at the prospect of spending the rest of your life with this person.
You should relish the moment you get to say ‘I do’ to your best friend; to somebody who brings out your very best, and who you trust entirely.
While the whole point of any wedding is to celebrate and eternalise this connection between the devoted couple, it’s just as important to have a similarly solid relationship with one other key member of the big day – your photographer!
“Having a photographer you trust and feel comfortable with is so important for any couple,” shares Monika Grabowska, a Clonmel-based photographer who has spent her career capturing all the magic of all sorts of weddings nationwide.
As well as wedding photography, Monika also specialises in newborn photography and boudoir shoots.
Having photographed people of all ages, she’s keenly aware that it’s often as early as our teen years that many of us develop a deep self-consciousness and a fear of having a camera pointed in our direction.
“Getting great pictures taken all begins with your mindset,” Monika explains.
“I work with so many amazing women, in particular who don’t see how great they are, or don’t have enough confidence. I get it! As busy mothers, as working women, whatever our situation, we don’t always have enough time for ourselves.
"We forego things like doing our hair and makeup perfectly, and the issue is we’re constantly comparing ourselves to all these perfect pictures on Instagram, on TV abnd in magazines. There’s just so much pressure to reach ridiculous levels of perfection.”
Nobody is more vulnerable to such pressure than a bride-to-be.
From finding the perfect dress to the right makeup artist or even just keeping sane while a barrage of pre-wedding diet tips gets thrown at you from all angles, there can be a lot to navigate.
To combat this negative self-image that so many Irish women struggle with, Monika often reminds them of all the beautiful things about them that a camera can’t capture.
“Confidence should stem from so much more than just how you look. I want my clients to feel great about who they are as a person. I work with women who are amazing mothers, incredible partners, and hardworking professionals.
"They’re juggling so many things! So that should be an instant way for them to feel good about themselves, just by recognising all the big and small things they achieve every day. I tell my clients, ‘This experience is something that’s all about you for a change, so we can really capture how great you are.'”
As well as letting inner confidence shine through, there are plenty of other tips and tricks Monika teaches her clients to help them get the pictures of their dreams.
“A good photographer will know the best ways to get you to pose, and how to communicate that with you,” she explains.
“If you ever feel unsure whether a certain pose or angle is working, you should also feel fully comfortable asking your photographer what they think. We tweak things throughout the session.
"For example, I often tell people to adjust the angle of their chin, because let’s face it, we all have double chins! I also teach my wedding clients, in particular, different ways they can improve their posture if they’re sitting during the ceremony, because nobody wants to look like they’re slouching when they get their pictures back.”
All these tweaks require an ongoing dialogue between the photographer and their subject. Ideally, Monika suggests, this dialogue should start well before the big day for wedding photography clients.
“You should start searching for a photographer well in advance, and get to know if their style suits you. Look through their portfolio to get an idea of what they can offer. I would also recommend using the same photographer you’re hoping to use for your wedding day for an engagement photo shoot.
"That’s a great way to see how they communicate with you during the session, and of course, to see if you like the results!” When you do get the results you wanted, and walk away with a beautiful set of photos you’re truly happy with, it can be equally rewarding for both the couple and their photographer.
“I’ve had clients tell me that they cried happy tears looking back at their wedding pictures. That means so much to me,” Monika shares. “It’s very special, especially when I know the client gave me their full trust, and it paid off.
“It’s funny, a lot of the time it’s the pictures they don’t expect to like that end up being their favourite! Couples usually need far fewer traditional portraits than they think they do, for instance. Of course, it’s great to get the shots of you both smiling to the camera, but you don’t want too many of those.
"The candid shots of you looking into your partner’s eyes, walking hand in hand, chatting and joking together, or simply admiring each other, those are the most special ones that people really love.
"Another example is that a lot of people insist they won’t smile or laugh naturally in their pictures, especially grooms, but I always get them to eventually!
"With men in particular, it’s all about breaking the ice, cracking jokes and keeping things fun and positive. When you get to capture a genuine smile or even a belly laugh on camera, that’s really lovely. It’s great to see a client’s reaction to those images, particularly if it’s something they were insecure about before.”
When it comes to getting over insecurities, there are few bolder ways to do it than with a boudoir shoot. The trend of bridal boudoir, where brides-to-be gift their saucy photos to their new spouse, is definitely on the rise in Ireland, according to Monika.
“It’s hugely popular at the moment, which is great to see. The boudoir shoots are a really positive experience; they can be really empowering for many women.
"A lot of the time, they’ll be quite timid at the start of the shoot, but after a few minutes, I show them the first set of photos I’ve taken, and they say, 'Oh my god, is that really me?' They start to see themselves in a whole new light.
“Their grooms love the pictures too, of course, but the feedback I most often get is that they’re proud –proud of their wife for being confident and seeing all the wonderful things about herself that he already sees!”
To get in contact with Monika, visit HERE.
