Metallic voices just keep us hanging on

SADLY, nobody is immune anymore: call-queuing is as inevitable as death itself.

I had occasion recently to ring eircom to report a fault on my line.

After 35 minutes, which included a 10-minute conversation with an automaton, I got through to a real person!

She was even less pleasant than the metallic voice who caressed me with his unctuous assurances.... “Your call is important to us. Thank you for your patience. One of our operators will be with you shortly.”

And for the umpteenth time, I seethe as I listen to a crackly “Air on a G String” until, eventually, I get through.

“Eircom Faults, Britney (it might have been ‘Courtney’) speaking.”

I ventured: “Before I relate the fault, would you like to guess how long it’s taken to speak with you?”

And I was instantly cut off!

So.... it was back again through the torture of the murder machine that is call-queuing.

Now eircom are not unique. Ring any concern, from credit union to crematorium, and you’ll get the same runaround, and all in the name of improving the service.

Can you imagine the number of hours wasted nationally every week by people like you and me trying to get service, pay a bill or make an enquiry?

It would surely run to tens of thousands, and begets nothing but pure anger and frustration.

If Euripides were to be believed, some deity somewhere wants to destroy us. More than 2,000 years ago, he wrote: “Those whom a God wishes to destroy, he first makes mad.”

He/she is well on the way to success in modern Ireland.

Cllr Joe Conway

44 Roselawn


Co Waterford.

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