Olivia Kelleher: It took months of hard graft to lure tradesman into my house

Teenagers who hated school are being forced into courses to keep their parents happy — and we have a shortage of apprentices

A number of men have been in and out of my house lately.

No sooner has one man left than the next guy is turning up to take his place.

The flurry of activity has been so intense that one of my neighbours has enquired as to how I am doing it.

“How are you getting all the men?”

Now, it’s not what you think. The almost mythical creatures that are in and out of my house at the moment are tradesmen.

It has taken months of graft to get them through the door.

Gently reminding them of my existence, weekly texts asking if I am next in line and straight out begging when the deadline looms for the tiles to be laid before the kitchen is installed.

During the pandemic, a nation obsessed with their holidays abroad instead focused on improving their houses.

For many it was a case of “my family are tipping me over the edge. I might as well have a nice sofa to sit on while I go mad.”

Tile stores reported record activity, while kitchen retailers have been firing on full cylinder to keep up with incessant demand.

You invest in all the materials and then you have to go about trying to find someone to tile or fit units. At times it feels like it would be easier to trace Shergar.

The construction workforce contracted significantly following the 2008 recession. Numbers never returned to the levels of the mid-2000s, despite current demand for home improvement being close to an all-time high.

Apprenticeships

In 2007 there were 23,700 apprenticeships in Ireland — by 2015 that had fallen to 4,400.

A report commissioned by the Construction Industry Federation (CIF) last year revealed that Ireland had failed to register any new floor and wall tiling apprentices since 2012.

In 2019, the CIF warned that nine out of 10 firms were experiencing “severe difficulties” in sourcing tradespeople.

At that time, the CIF’s Dermot Casey said a negative perception of trades remained.

Unfortunately, schools are only considered truly successful when over 95% of their students go on to third level.

“The high drop-out rates of young people after one year in colleges shows the problem with this thinking," he said.

Realistically, there is such a shortage that tradesmen have you over a barrel. They know you are desperate and, as they are run off their feet, they can’t give you a concrete date to start work.

It is like you are running after a date that really isn’t into you. You text and call. They ignore you most of the time.

The tiler says: “I will come Thursday.” You start whimpering with excitement and then you realise the Thursday is in six weeks.

First world problem

Admittedly, it is is a first world problem. However, that isn’t of much comfort when your are living out of boxes for a month as the kitchen has been removed.

The microwave in the landing is looking for sick pay. You feel taunted when you see a running tap in another house.

When I eventually walked in to my new kitchen, I naively thought it was ready to be used. My heart sank when I noticed the sink wasn’t plumbed. I forgot that wasn’t the the job of the cabinet fitter.

However, the killer blow was when I tried to turn on the oven and realised that it wasn’t working. Cue wailing in the kitchen that would make a professional keener look cheerful.

The cabinet fitter said: “You JUST need an electrician. The wiring needs upgrading.”

I started ringing around. Most of the time nobody answered. I then resorted to group texting.

One man actually returned my call. He told me he wasn’t available until August.

I nearly knighted him for calling me back.

I eventually got a man who said he would call to the house that day to take a look. When he arrived I all but genuflected at him. He said he would come the following Monday to do the job.

Of course, my hairdresser then offered the immediate services of his electrician father. I reluctantly said no as I had made a commitment to another electrician. We hadn’t quite taken our vows, but it’s a deadly serious business.

Book learning isn't everything. Some young people would be better suited to a trade.

The other issue of course is quality of work when they do turn up. Some tradesmen aren’t very conscientious because they know that you are grateful to have the work done at all.

They cut corners and do the bare minimum, and then rush on to the next job. The common courtesy of tidying up their mess has gone out the window.

There are other issues to consider when you have tradesmen in your house. 

Give them too many biscuits and the job takes forever.

After a few days, you start to ration the treats like dog biscuits. You present the biscuits when they have accomplished something.

Of course, living out of boxes for a month isn’t too taxing in the grand scheme of life and, like childbirth, will soon be forgotten.

'Forced' into college

What’s more important is that there is a whole generation of young people who are failing to take up apprenticeships because well-meaning parents are sending their offspring off to college to ‘better themselves’.

Teenagers who hated school are being forced into courses to keep their parents happy.

You tell them that they will earn more money if they have a college degree.

However, the reality is that people with PhDs often aren’t earning as much as a competent tiler.

Securing a tiler should be like picking up a phone to order a pizza — readily available without too much effort or thought.

You should have the luxury of choosing who you hire as opposed to playing Russian roulette and hoping the person who agrees to turn up is up to the job.

The country is in danger of losing a skill set that was built up over generations. There is a major dearth in expertise and, if left unchecked, it will get to a point where there is nobody to lay the blocks, cut the roof and hang the doors.