Perilous Prendergast shoots from the lip

Oh, how embarrassing. You’re in the middle of a furious, relationship- ending row, and suddenly the doorbell rings and you remember this is the night you invited the neighbours over for drinks.

Such was the scene as Eamon Gilmore and a few of his closest enemies — sorry, his TDs and Euro election candidates — put on their best fake smiles and pretend air kisses as they gathered at a swanky Dublin art gallery to welcome Brussels big cheese Martin Schulz to the happy little party that is Labour.

However, at least it gave European parliament president Mr Schulz the chance to say goodbye in person to Labour’s sitting MEPs, who had very little chance of returning to Brussels with him even before self-destructing Ireland South MEP Phil Prendergast came up with the unusual, but highly memorable, campaign slogan: “Vote Labour — Our Leader’s Crap!”