The nuances of language - when to be pedantic about made-up words

AS soon as I’d said it, I knew I’d done a bad thing. My wife had a “You, of ALL people” look on her face.

We were talking about doing something for the wedding anniversary. It should have been a happy conversation, not least because we were talking about it before the wedding anniversary. And then I said it.

“Yeah, let’s go all out and really occasion it this year.” Occasion it? Ok it’s a verb, but not like that. How could I do such a thing? Yes, ‘Me-of-ALL-people’, who has to go somewhere peaceful with birdsong when he sees “that” spelled as “tat” in a Facebook comment and whose private member’s bill to outlaw the word ‘bants’ is already at the committee stage in his imaginary Dáil. But like most humans, I’m a mess of contradictions, both an arch-pedant and a neologist who takes pleasure in inventing new words. Examples include ‘gallerache’ — a pain you get in your lower back while visiting a museum because of the lack of slouching surfaces — or ‘anglow’— the healthy complexion of someone who has just recently been acquitted of some heavy-duty financification.