Fergus Finlay: One thing I've learned is that life is about making the most of what you've got

If I’ve discovered one thing over the years, as a husband, father, and in my work as a trade union official and in the political world, it’s that there may not be a lot of point in trying to plan your life out 

Mandy Finlay as a child. It’s hard to describe how little support there was for babies with Downs syndrome and their families back then.

I’m writing on what I always refer to as my wife’s wedding anniversary. I learned an invaluable life lesson, which I’m happy to share, on her first anniversary. Because they were all the rage at the time (I thought) I gave her an electric carving knife. If you’ve ever been chased down the street by a woman with an electric carving knife, it will teach you to take romance more seriously.

I survived that, and I must have learned, because now it’s her 53rd anniversary. Yes, ok, I know it’s mine too. But I’ve always felt the lucky one. I know if you were talking to Frieda now, she would — as kindly and gently as possible — refer to me still as a work in progress. I’m a task, a job of improvement that will never end. She’s just one of those people who never gives up.