Sarah Harte: Feminism is eating itself while women's choices remain illusory

Putting the ass into astronaut, trying to game a system that isn't made for us, and Terf wars dividing us so the patriarchy conquers all

'Poor Britney Spears, sold down the patriarchal river for cash in her teens. Picture: Brian Ach/Getty

Has feminism eaten itself? It’s starting to look that way. We must get the conversation back on track and breathe life into the fight for women's equality. 

Take first the recent all-female Blue Origin flight into space for 11 minutes at a vast expense courtesy of tech mogul Jeff Bezos. The space doll's mission. This version of supposed feminism is based on bullshit. 

Singer Katy Perry made a foolish statement last week, let’s put the ass into astronaut. Presumably, she said this for rhetorical effect. But how tragic. And let’s not beat up on her. She’s a talented, hard-working woman just acting out what she’s been taught. She and the other spacers talked about their glam and hot, specially commissioned space suits. 

Most depressing, because she should know better, a former NASA rocket scientist chirped: “I also wanted to test out my hair and make sure that it was okay. So I skydived in Dubai (Dubai! It says it all) with similar hair to make sure I would be good-took it for a dry run.” 

As businesswoman Lucy Gaffney said last week, “Real feminism isn’t about sending rich women to the stars. It’s about making sure all women have the chance to rise.” 

At some point, feminism has to grasp this nettle. It is not empowerment to talk about putting “the ass in astronaut” when you are going into space. This is not liberation. If you want to display your flesh, or enlarge your breasts or freeze your face, then that is your prerogative: but something doesn’t compute.

There is a sub porn star look that has crept into the ether more generally. This process has been in train for decades, but it’s accelerated. The highly damaging aesthetics of porn have gone mainstream even it seems among privileged educated women. The pornification of women’s looks while being sold as liberation is another form of patriarchy, and it contributes to gender inequality, domestic, sexual and gender-based violence. As feminist Andrea Dworkin wrote: 

Pornography incarnates male supremacy. It is the DNA of male dominance.

Not that we got the memo back in the nineties when some of us ironically wore (or so we thought) t-shirts saying ‘porn star in training’. I know who the joke was on. But seriously, what the hell was floating around in our subconscious?

Of course, women should be able to dress as they wish. However, I was in a medical setting recently, and some of the female medical consultants teetering around in stripper heels looked like they were about to wrap themselves around a pole, albeit in high-end threads. I have to say, as somebody who admittedly at one point could run in high heels and loves clothes, it was depressing. They have the money, education, and professional experience, but that’s not enough. They have to show, too, in an overt way, that they are ‘sexy’. 

Is this kind of sexualisation empowering? Does it send a good message to younger women? I needed to see a consultant, but I struggled to hand over the obligatory €250 to somebody who looked like she was about to jump on the desk and sing Hit Me Baby One More Time. Poor Britney Spears, sold down the patriarchal river for cash in her teens.

I am not suggesting that to be a good feminist you have to wear flat shoes, dungarees (I passionately hate them), and no make-up. But, interestingly, power for some women is still sexual. Maybe women reading this will think hell yeah, sex is a tool to get ahead. But I guess what I’m driving at is that it’s taken me a long time to realise that some of our choices are illusory. We’re set up to make them by patriarchy and capitalism.

As Lucy Gaffney said: “Let’s be clear: when ultra-wealthy women buy their way into space, it’s not breaking glass ceilings — reinforcing class ones. This isn’t liberation. It’s a spectacle of wealth dressed up as empowerment, while many women are left fighting for basic human rights.” 

Yup. Is this what our mothers and grandmothers fought for?

Lauren Sanchez, Amanda Nguyen, Katy Perry, Gayle King, Aisha Bowe and Kerianne Flynn before their 11-minute trip to space. Picture: Blue Origin/AP

I grew up when ambitious, swotty, good girls like me aced their exams and naively thought they could be anything they wanted — like a high flying medical consultant, for example. On one level, it worked out in terms of having access. On another level, it did not. We were busy fools who entered the age-old patriarchal system not designed for us and tried to climb the greasy pole while unwittingly maintaining it.

Sometimes you dropped out when your kids were little because it got too hard, if you were in a corporate environment (the working hours were stacked against you), and if you had zero support at home, it just wasn’t a runner. In which case, you felt like a quasi-failure, because your excellent results aside, you didn’t get that the system was rigged.

Or you stayed in the system (you go girlboss) usually because you had enough money to buy in working-class women or migrant women to keep the show on the road as carers of your children. That’s the dirty little secret that nobody addresses. Whenever I see a phenomenally successful career woman, I ask myself who minded the children and how it worked out for the child-minder. Who did she leave her children with?

I’m not putting women down here. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 

I’m saying we operate in an environment that does not work for us. Meanwhile, nine times out of ten, there’s some son of the patriarchy (your partner) running towards his destiny with his hands up, running and running towards that promotion, his God given destiny, because he’s worth it. Since he was tiny, he's known he’s worth it because the system told him that. And whatever else we do, we must support men to rise to the top.

Oh, and good luck if the marriage ever breaks down, because you will have to navigate the most patriarchal system of them all, the legal system. Assuming you have the cash to fight for your rights. More often than not, you won’t. You didn’t get as far in your career because you did all the heavy lifting at home, so you’re destined to live in poverty for the rest of your life.

And of course, the best strategy available to any regime is divide and conquer. How depressing the Terf trans war is.

Now, before you come to burn down my house, I am pro trans, meaning pro-human rights, and I am a feminist. I’m neither woke nor conservative; like most women, I’m just trying to put one foot in front of the other, earn a living and keep my head above water. But this is another example of women, whether born with vaginas or women who want vaginas tearing each other apart, taking their eye off the ball while the patriarchy looks on and laughs. 

Following the case in the UK Supreme Court last week, where it was ruled that the term ‘woman’ means biological women in the Equality Act, there were many ugly, victorious images and horrible aggression floating about. There is no time for this because it’s time to unite and figure out a way forward to smash the patriarchy. 

As feminists, we need to get our acts together.