Terry Prone: Who is protecting the privacy of vulnerable people, or the dead?

The demented and the dead often need privacy protection from those who once vowed loyalty to them in sickness and in health

Once Iris Murdoch was demented, and later dead, all bets were off: Her husband, John Bayley, achieved a saintly revenge for her infidelity to him when she was sentient. Picture: Evening Standard/Getty

A grimly unattractive trope occasionally utilised by the bereaved is claiming to be privy to what the dead one would have wanted, if the dead one wasn’t dead. Sometimes, in fairness, it’s not the bereaved who go this road, but sympathisers who firmly tell the bereaved person that the dead one would have wanted them to marry again, sell the house, or move to Dubai.

One way or the other, it’s bootless speculation articulated in the firm confidence that the dead one is not going to rise up and smite the live person alleging mysterious insight into their views — although approving of someone moving to Dubai clearly is not something any decent dead person would advise if they weren’t dead.