Maeve Higgins: In every little thing you do, you will find yourself

As we welcome 2022, an entirely unknown future lies ahead, with eons of possibilities

TODAY is January 1. A new year beckons, empty and pure, and I can manifest it into anything I wish — well, anything that takes into consideration the laws of physics and the immovable fact of living through a pandemic, of course. An entirely unknown future lies ahead, with eons of possibilities.

Some people may decide to look out on the wonder that is the Grand Canyon or jump out of an aeroplane to parachute into an Alaskan lake; others may take the elevator to the top of the Rockefeller Plaza and gaze out at the city, determined to make it theirs one day.

They’re going all out, coming in hot, fixated on the idea that this year will be better than last year.

Me? I’m going in small, coming in cold, unsure of the power of a calendar to transform a life.

This past year ground me down, as it did all of us, and I’m not about to add to that pressure. Instead, for the day that’s in it, I reached out to my friends and family in the US and Ireland for ways to spend the day. Ways, and I specified this, not brutal.

I will share those ideas with you now. Some are traditional and passed along through the culture, others are distinctive. All of them made me smile and, when I heard some of the suggestions, I even felt my icy little heart warm up ever so slightly in anticipation of doing them myself. I hope you’ll feel the same way.

So, prepare to feel those shoulders melt away from your ears as your pulse eases down to a pleasant and regular hum. Unless you’re driving or holding an infant, in which case you should probably not be reading this anyway, you can loosen your shoes and let your bones feel soft in your body as try a few of these good boys on for size.

The first category of suggestions is easy to achieve and comes under what I term as treats. Gone are the old ways of thinking, denying yourself something nice to feel virtuous and renewed like a medieval monk. Instead, my community urges gentleness and kindness to yourself on the first day of the year.

Getting fit and eating better are common resolutions that often don't last.

I seem to recall a general vibe of withholding in Januarys past. People swore off things that made them feel fuzzily pleasant and made a habit of quitting alcohol, sugar, and carbohydrates, or at least berating themselves when they did consume those things instead of simply enjoying them. By people, I’m sure you’ve figured out, I mean me.

I would use the year’s turning as an opportunity to diet and punish myself for unknown sins; I suspect the main one simply being that I have a body.

Of course, if these restrictions were in any way effective, I would not have kept doing it year after year, but that is the lie of a diet.

Treats

Restriction can only lead to bingeing, so I believe the advice I received this year is more realistic. Nobody said to get blackout drunk or eat your way into a coma, but many people mentioned a little treat here and there to celebrate the day — a glass of your favourite wine, a couple of fancy chocolates, the good coffee.

Homemade cinnamon buns were proposed, and what a lovely comfort that would be today, both the baking and the eating of those darling spiced confections!

One lady on Instagram told me her husband makes her chili cheese fries. Naturally, my first instinct was to find and seduce that man of hers so that I could be the lucky recipient next year. However, she knows what a gem she has and was too clever by half, with her Instagram set to private so that I couldn’t track him down.

The second category of special New Year’s Day activities was nature based. Walking, hiking, and swimming all came up a lot. Fresh air and moving your body, however slowly or quickly, through city parks or ocean waters, it was quite beautiful to see how many of us share the day with the outdoors.

Many of us will vow to reduce our alcohol consumption.

Of course, many people swim in the sea all year round in Ireland and certainly jump in and out on January 1. In the US, with typical bravado, people call that a polar plunge, although temperatures in New York and Cork don’t differ too much at this time of year.

I’m going to take a walk. It won’t be a brisk, arms swinging, let’s get this done kind of walk, although those are fine too. I’m lucky enough to be with my family in Cobh this year, including my little nieces and nephews, and a walk with children tends to be meandering and slow. We will go to the woods and I expect we will double back to look at a cool fern or pick up an intriguing rock, as well as any number of snack breaks.

I’m glad to spend time with them today because I intend to do more of that this year.

That brings me to the final category of suggestions from my gang to yours. It’s a best foot forward kind of motion, but again, not in a punishing way. 

Even if you find yourself in the doldrums today, don’t worry. Just do the next thing as well as you can.

Cook something with care, watch a fun show and pay attention to the jokes, phone someone you’ve been meaning to talk to and have a solid chat. Spend the time you have today in the way you intend to spend your time every day.

That way, you don’t need to worry about bigger questions and looming changes, you can just work away bit by bit.

Author Annie Dillard was right when she said: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

There is a wonderful book by Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, Carl Gustav Jung, Selected Letters of C.G. Jung, 1909-1961.

Getting out and about can help our mental health.

There is plenty of insight into how he developed his theories and, within the letters, there are some great human moments when Jung responds to letters written to him by people suffering all kinds of misery and asking his advice.

To one such man, addressed as Herr N, Jung offers the following instruction: “There is no pit you cannot climb out of provided you make the right effort at the right place. 

When one is in a mess like you are, one has no right any more to worry about the idiocy of one’s own psychology, but must do the next thing with diligence and devotion and earn the goodwill of others. In every littlest thing you do in this way you will find yourself.”

This advice isn’t easy to follow; diligence and devotion take effort. However, it’s undoubtedly easier than living in a way you can no longer bear.

What a gorgeous promise for a new year, one I wish for us all today: in every littlest thing you do, in this way you will find yourself.