It might nearly be Lent, but Sundays are sweet
It should be shifted to St Bridget’s day. Having it so soon after Christmas is pointless. Like eating more steak after dessert. You don’t need it and you feel queasy.
But January has flown. Not in a good way. Time was just blown along by all the storms.
Somehow, we are at Lent, and you have a decision to make: are you going off sweets? There are a couple of things to consider. Firstly, what do you mean by ‘sweets’?
At the start of Lent, sweets means “oh, everything: sweets, biscuits, chocolate, the lot. In for a penny, in for a pound. Otherwise, it’s not a real sacrifice.” As Lent proceeds, we demonstrate the kind of semantic gymnastics normally only seen when a government minister is justifying breaking the rules around hiring an adviser on a six-figure salary. “Well, if you look at the letter of the law, Skittles are not really sweets. They’re crispy-coated candy. I have done nothing wrong. I have complied with all the regulations, as I have chosen to interpret them.”
Not only are there wrangles in the definition of what we give up — a lot of theological debate concerns when we give it up — the common understanding is that Lent lasts from Ash Wednesday until Easter Sunday.
Even as small children, we had an awareness of a liturgical anomaly. It was the only bit we questioned. There are 46 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. But Jesus was supposed to be in the wilderness for 40 days.
THAT MEANS WE CAN HAVE SWEETS ON A SUNDAY. The devil can quote scripture for his own purposes — his own purposes being to eat a Creme Egg.
It was an argument that usually got short shrift. There’s no evidence that Jesus took a break from his fast every six days. There’s no mention in any of the Gospels of Satan arriving for the morning ‘tempt Jesus’ shift, and finding him nonchalantly eating a biscuit. Which is just as well, as St Luke would have struggled to include the following passage in a Gospel.
Satan (incredulously): “What’s all this. I thought you were off everything?”
Jesus: “It’s grand, it’s Sunday”.
Satan:- “So what if it’s Sunday? And, anyway, I thought Saturday was the Jewish Sabbath?”
Jesus (knowing smile): “Oh, you’ll see, Satan, you’ll see”.
In fact, if you really want to stretch it, the Ambrosian rite (It’s a Western liturgical rite, based in Milan. named after St Ambrose, not a method of eating rice pudding) says that Lent doesn’t begin until the Sunday after Ash Wednesday.
I hesitate in revealing that. Once festival-mongers get a hold of that, it’s inevitable that Shrove Tuesday will turn into a week-long Festival Of Pancake. with days of face-painting, pints in plastic glasses, huts selling artisan chutney, and live music from frozen trad bands.
For some reason, there seems to be no quibbling that St Patrick’s Day is a cast-in-stone, sweet-eating holiday. It’s origins are unclear. Maybe St Patrick himself brought it in to placate Irish pagans.
After all, pagans had to give up all their favourite past-times, like cavorting and howling like a wolf, and wearing horns on their heads. The kind of stuff frowned upon by Christianity.
Not to mention the fact that Irish pagans had to contend with the disappearance of all their pet snakes. So, perhaps, St Patrick took pity and allowed them to drown their sorrows with a few, primitive Curly-Wurlies. So, whatever you give up, best of luck. If you’re struggling, don’t worry. It’s not too long till next Sunday.
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