Winning the Euromillions might not be the best thing for you

AS SOON As I’d bought the ticket, I knew it was pointless.

The money disappeared into the cash register. I might as well have burnt it and used the ashes to draw abusive graffiti about myself on a wall. At least there’d be something tangible. ‘They’ say that the chances of winning the Euromillions draw are about as high as being struck by lightning while sitting on a unicorn and listening to a rush-hour AA Roadwatch broadcast that doesn’t mention Lough Atalia.

I don’t know why I entered it — maybe I thought we’d be able to handle €160million. That it wouldn’t change us — but I have my doubts.