The situations that a trip to a film about male strippers will prepare you for

The press-ups and sit-ups are back, Accompanied this time by a kettle bell. (A kettle bell is a type of weight in case you thought it was an alarm clock to tell you the tea was ready. It was bought in Lidl in the same kind of impulse buy that caused you to buy that generator.)

Every so often I get the urge for self-improvement. I don’t necessarily need to achieve a six-pack – maybe just a buy one get one free.

There’s usually an impetus for a better me. There are a number of reasons this time but the tipping point was seeing Magic Mike XXL the movie about ‘male entertainers’. (I went to it for research purposes. Dancing is my life.)