Enda, if you want to be re-elected then do as I say, and do it urgently

SO, Taoiseach. You have the worst opinion-poll ratings in your history. Thousands of people will march tomorrow against the water tax. And there’s a row among your most senior ministers about the repayment of the Anglo debt.

Not looking great, is it? But, actually, if you’ll give me a few minutes, I will tell you how the Government can win the next election. Or, at least — at the very worst — give it a rattling good go.

Don’t misunderstand me, Taoiseach. This is not about how well Fine Gael can do in the election. And it’s not about Labour, either. If I was advising either you, or Joan Burton, on a strictly selfish party basis, I might say something different.