Top tips on how to slash your water charges

1. Invest in a good supply of buckets to take to the local spout / river / public toilet (excellent for the back and arm muscles).

2. Take family baths (let’s not pretend we didn’t re-use the bath water in the 1970s). Bulk-buy deodorant and dry shampoo.

3. Go to the toilet only at school or work or in a public toilet (this will do wonders for your pelvic floor muscles).